peace

I feel peaceful.  I have this sudden calm.  Weird to explain.

Maybe it's the new blog design?  :)  {yes, google readers ... head on over to my actual site!}

Seriously though.

I mentioned here, that I had a new motto in the works.  Only I wasn't quite ready to deliver it yet {and had still been writing the post in my head}, especially since the original intent of the post has since been changed a bit.  Right?

But, I was up next in line {yes, I was on the longest waiting list ever to get my blog redesigned ... felt that way at least} and ba-da-boom ... I went out tonight and came back to a new blog design.  Do you like it?  :)

I got to thinking a few months ago ... I really shouldn't go around saying, "I'm stressed, but blessed."  Like my 'blessings' were an afterthought.

I need to live a life that is "too blessed to be stressed."  I love that.  I want to live that.  And I shall.

That is why I'm selling the store.  That is why I'm going back to basics {someone just needs to take my computer from me to help out with that please!}.  That is why I'm getting in deep with my family, and God.  I can't wait ...

Back to peaceful ... stay with me.  I had a bit of a weird night.  I got my schedule wrong {what's new?} and screwed up the date we were supposed to go to Taylor's modeling thing.  She had one this past Monday, and then one tonight.  Wrong.  It wasn't tonight.  It's next Thursday.

I am a fighter.  I don't admit I need help {not proud of this, and Brigitte, you are breaking me down!}.  I'm stubborn.  And I get myself into trouble.

When I took Taylor on Monday, it was a snowy, snowy night.  I'm working on one eye.  Bad night vision in the good eye.  And no contrast vision.  Night ... dark ... snow ... barely breathing ... well, you get the idea.  But I absolutely wouldn't let Curt drive me.  Why?  Who knows ... I'm retarded I guess.

I got myself into such a white-knuckled mess on Monday, that tonight ... which is also our standard Thursday night, date night ... I ask, "How about you drive us ... and then you and I can go to a long dinner at the Melting Pot?"  Taylor's sessions are 3 hours long, and I ended up sitting on a cold, hard bench at Chipotle on Monday night.  Sitting in front of a fondue pot of cheese and chocolate sounds much more appealing, you think?

Curt agrees.  We get a sitter and out the 3 of us go.  Curt is not the best driver.  We often get car sick.  Taylor is complaining.  I'm doing my best to not complain aloud, but all the signs are there.  Tension is high.

Close to an hour later, we finally arrive only to find out, she's not scheduled tonight.  What to do?  What to do?

Turns out ... Curt, Taylor and I went to dinner.  It was so nice.  This may seem like nothing special, but last night ... Taylor and I were in counseling to talk about certain matters between Curt and Taylor.

They just do not get along.  Maybe cuz their both Taurus's?  Maybe cuz they both vie for my attention?  Maybe cuz they're both pre-teen?  Oops ... I mean ... :)

So who would've thought that there we are, just the three of us having dinner and conversation and no one was picking on each other?  It was peaceful.

The drive home ... Taylor gave in and let me listen to 'my music' {Christian music}.  And as I'm deep in thought, Taylor is singing the words to the most beautiful lyrics.  It was peaceful.

When we got home, the girls were all just going to bed.  I went in and finished putting the baby to sleep.  She wouldn't stay down.  I was back and forth between her nursery and the other girls room.

As I finally give in and go sit with her to rock her, and I'm holding this precious bundle of a baby ... she's pretending to rest on me, then ever so slightly turns her body to rest a different way, then turns again so she's sitting next to me, then she carefully opens her book {yes, she had a book in hand ... she's the baby, she gets what she wants}, she's playing all nonchalant, then slowly tries to see if I'm noticing what she's doing.

I'm smiling at her.  So precious.  So innocent.  I ask her if she's going to read.  She's so happy I think she's going to burst as she says through her nukie filled mouth, "yeeess!"

I'm thinking of a teenager sitting in the other room waiting for me to watch her latest accomplishments on Guitar Hero and two other girls that need me to pray.  My usual MO is to be rushed, stressed, hurried ... but it was peaceful.

I went out to watch Taylor jam like no other {yeah, that was a really queer sentence!} and it was peaceful.

I had this big load of info thrown at me today ... but I am at peace.