it's all relative

I went to bed last night and felt led by God to share these thoughts:

I know.  I know that my stresses and the things I've complained about are all relative.

I didn't just bring my {still very sick} daughter home after being in the hospital for 68 days.

I didn't just get released from the hospital after having surgery to remove fluid from around my heart ... knowing that I still have fluid around my lungs, but have decided not to have it removed.  Meanwhile, I'm released to go home and fight an incurable cancer ... praying that it's God's will to touch me and make me whole.

I haven't lost my oldest child and am trying to make it through the holidays without him.

I don't go to bed at night wondering if my cancer will resurface, praying God will keep his healing hand on me {okay, maybe that's just me wondering and praying for my friend ... but still}.

I don't go to bed in fear ... I don't wake up in fear.

I haven't just lost my wife.  And am trying to hold up the holidays for my 2 young girls.

And these are just people I know.  There are countless others.  Homeless, hungry, mourning, missing, hurting, dying.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:10-12

God gave us this promise, and as hard as it is, we need to remember it. is. his promise to us.  What's even harder, is trusting what that 'plan' is.  It doesn't mean it's our plan.  Did we want our wife to die?  Did we want our daughter in the hospital?  Of course not!  But we have to trust he does have a plan for us ... and as painful as that plan may be, he promises not to harm us, but to give us hope and a future.

I know and firmly believe that we all go through things on our own levels.  We all hurt on our own level.  Every miscarriage is different, we understand the pain and we can bond over it, mourn the loss.  But one may 'feel' it differently than the next.

When my husband was 'traveling' for a month ... I felt so alone.  I would hear someone complain about a bad day, and think "really?"  And then I'd have to stop myself.  Because a pain is a pain.  A stress is a stress.  And what we go through is important to us ... and that should make it important to others.  We need to 'feel' each other.  It's what connects us.  The empathy we have for each other, no matter the problem or situation.

What got me through that time was knowing there were others that didn't have their husbands around at all.  The first time Curt was 'traveling' wasn't too long after 911, and I remember thinking of all the women whose husbands wouldn't return at all, they wouldn't be coming home.  They had to get through their pregnancies alone.  The birth ... alone.  Raising the children ... alone.

I am blessed.  I am more than blessed.  I realize this.  No matter what my stress, no matter what my situation ... God has his hand on me and my family.

I am blessed.  In fact, I have a new motto {think 'stressed, but blessed'} and can't wait to reveal it in the next few weeks ... how's that for a cliffhanger?

God bless you everyone ... truly ... I pray God's blessings over you ...

{Note:  I was looking up the bible verse quoted above and found this as the verse of the day (I use BibleGateway):  "Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits." Psalm 103:1-2}