2.28.2009

family matters

We're at the lake this weekend and this visit has a particularly special meaning to me ... you see, Curt planned this visit with the little girls. He often brings them up here, because I'm 'busy' doing this-or-that {or, in my own defense, have something going on with Taylor}.

Well ... enough of that! This weekend I am doing away with my 'busyness' and I am here! Present and accounted for. Shout with me ... amen and hallelujah!

Big sigh ...

I had a bible study on Wednesday night. We're studying a book from Max Lucado, Facing Your Giants {awesome read if you haven't already} and this past week we studied Chapter 17, Family Matters.

I've talked about it many times before, but it's something I really, really struggle with. Finding the balance between work, busyness, and family. I think if we're honest, most of us struggle with that balance.

This weeks bible study really hit home with a lot of people ... thank you all for letting me know.

As a side note, I've started feeling discouraged with the bible study ... feeling that people weren't interested anymore, or getting anything out of it. I started looking at other 'studies' we could do {which we will move on eventually} that might be more interesting. But after praying about it and not finding another 'study', I feel the Lord is telling me he isn't finished teaching us what we're studying right now.

I've come to realize Satan is putting these thoughts into my head, and just when I needed it most, the Lord has given me encouragement through you.

So back to 'Family Matters' ... we're studying the life of King David {of David & Goliath fame}. Did you know this great man, who masterminded military conquests, founded the capital city of Jerusalem, who wrote the book of Psalms, and killed the giant Goliath ... failed his family?

I think we can learn a lot from his failure ...

There isn't an account in the bible where David prayed for his family. Out of all the scripture he's written and all the prayers he's said ... we can't find that he's prayed over his family or written scripture for them.

He prayed for his army, his friends, and even his enemy ... why then is he silent about his family?

To paraphrase Max Lucado ... Was he too busy to notice them? Maybe. Too important to care for them? Too guilty to direct or discipline them?

Too busy, too important, too guilty ... and now? Too late. David's son had overthrown the city and exiled David. David was destined to die alone, in a stranger's arms.

But it's not too late for us. I realize chances are we won't be overthrown or exiled. And we most likely will not die alone. And our children and families will most likely be there for us.

But here's a thought ... will they be there out of duty, or because they want to.

Our homes are our giant-sized privilege. We need to make it our towering priority.

A privilege? Yes, a privilege. God has given us our families. He has given us our husbands, wives and children.

For those of us in happy marriages ... thank God. If it were not in his plan, we would be roaming from marriage to marriage. Relationship to relationship.

I realize I've made, and apologize {deeply} for the mistakes I've made along the way. But after many guilt-filled prayers ... I know, without a doubt, this is where God wants me to be.

How about those of us with children? Having children isn't 'a given' ... there are many that can't have children. And for those that have adopted children ... those little souls have been given to you.

We need to honor our families, our spouses, our children. By honoring them, we are glorifying and pleasing the One who allowed us to have them in the first place.

"Your children are not your hobby, they are your calling."

"Your spouse is not your trophy, but your treasure."

Some of us {guilty here!}, put value on what we do. We measure our worth by our accomplishments.

I meet someone at a dinner party and am asked, "What do you do?" And I try my best to list off all my 'busyness' and accomplishments. It somehow doesn't seem justifiable that I stay home with my kids ... or maybe work a desk job part-time so I can make the most of my family time.

I saw Soledad O'Brien speak once {and I know I've posted about this before ... see? I'm still struggling with the same ol' issues!}, and she said something that hit me:

"As women, we feel some sort of pleasure in 'one-uping' each other in our busyness." I think, to some extent, that it's true. But the most important part of her message? "It's not a competition."

Get that? It's not a competition. God hasn't designed us for busyness ... which is maybe why we can't handle it? There's no glory in it. And does it really make us feel better letting someone know how much busier we are?

It used to make me feel better. Honestly it did. I somehow felt justified as a woman, mother, wife. Lord knows I didn't want anyone thinking I sat around watching Oprah and eating bon-bons all day! :)

Anyhow.

It's taken me a long time, {and if I'm honest here, a part of me will probably struggle with it forever} but I'm finally ready to give up the busyness. And I truly, truly can't wait.

It was so hard to decide to sell the store. And now that I have, I can't get rid of it fast enough {quite literally ... I'm not getting rid of it fast enough!}.

I have a list of things that I can't wait for ... top of the list being my family. I can't wait to be 'present' for my family.

My broker has said that the potential buyer I met with should be writing on Monday with an answer. I am praying {oh Lord, where are these tears coming from?!?} the Lord 'answers' with an offer.

I've come across a couple of links through twitter this morning, and I urge you to check them out ... both are very inspirational {I promise!}. You can find them here and here.

I believe there's a balance to be had in all of this. As I've written before, I don't want my kids to remember "in a minute" ... "I'll be right there" ... "let me finish this up first."

I started this post last night, but instead of {as I would've in the past} staying up late and finishing it up, I decided to spend some time with the hubs reading in bed. Today has been a mixture of writing, watching a dance show, writing, playing backgammon, writing, piano playing ... well, you get the idea.

The kids call me or ask me to do something, so I put the computer down and go play. And when I'm done with this post, I'll put it away.

I'm a work in progress, and I'm thankful I have a God who works on me a little bit every day.

It's not too late for me {or for you}.

"Make your wife the object of your highest devotion. Make your husband the recipient of your deepest passion. Love the one who wears your ring.

And cherish the children who share your name.

Succeed at home first."

6 comments:

Lisa Mahnke said...

Nicely said my friend.

Marta said...

Wow - thanks for reminding us all of what is important. Even though we know it, it is often not realized until it has been neglected. Marina was giving me a kiss when I was reading this - how special.

Traci said...

Your reminders are truth and they water my soul. Thank you!

Enjoy your family.

Traci

amelton said...

I'm happy that the Lord directed your steps as you were writing your busyness article. May we take the time to make disciples of the most important people we know: our children.

Thanks for the link to my article!

Blessings,
Alan Melton
Disciple Like Jesus ministry

http://www.DiscipleLikeJesus.com

Brigitte Short said...

Amen! :)

Tiffany said...

This is beautiful! I LOVE YOU! Thanks for the reminders! Gotta go, Lilah's calling!