thank you!

{warning: grab a cup of coffee ...}

I have been a major miss whiner lately and I couldn’t quite figure out why.  I’m in my office {at work} at 6:30 yesterday morning, complaining in my head about all my ‘poor me’s.’

I used to feel like I needed to list out all the things I had piling up on me and all the things that stress me out {insert dramatic eye roll}.  Then I saw Soledad O’Brien speak at a women’s conference thingy and my perspective was completely changed {well ... not completely, completely to those of you who have still endured my occasional whining}. But what she said hit me at the core ... it was a realization she made while in the midst of trying to one-up on the stress level when talking with friends.  Ready?

“It’s not a competition.”

We all have stresses and it truly isn’t a competition.  From then on, I’ve tried {insert humble smile} to be very cautious when talking to friends and complaining about my life and all my stresses.  I try very hard not to go into my lists of what I’ve got piled up.

The past couple of years have brought me much pain.  I didn’t know how to handle it at first and so it brought me more pain {all of course while I was smiling to the world, except to an unfortunate few of you ...}.  I was at a ‘hands up in the air, I have no idea what to do here point,’ when I finally figured it out ... I needed to let go and give it to God.  When I think back on that time {I don’t let myself go too deeply too often} I have no idea how I got through it.  It’s then that I’m reminded, it really wasn’t me who got through it ... it was God who got me through it.

Do you know the footprints saying?  I won’t list it all out here ... but the jist has a man talking to God asking about the footprints he sees in the sand.  And the man says to God “look here, when I was going through the hardest times in my life, there are no footprints.  Where were you?”  And God replies {major tears}, “That my child is when I carried you.”

My God carried me through the last couple of years, I have no doubt.

{kleenex thrown away}

So this brings me to my entry ... I feel like I’ve been writing it in my head for the last week.  Only it was much different before ... it was a list, to list out all of the stresses going on in my life right now.  And I need to apologize to a few of you who have been the brunt of my complaining lately.  I can’t tell you how guilty I felt after those conversations.  Did it help me feel better to vent?  No, I felt convicted.

My thoughts keep returning to the question, why I can’t seem to get over the things that have me buried right now.  When it pretty much hits me over the head and knocks me over ... I have been trying to deal with this turmoil myself.  I have not turned it over to God.  I’ve been praying every morning for wisdom and guidance {and a few extra hours in my day!} and then I’d go about my day a frazzled mess!

When I realized this morning that I had been asking God to speak to me, and then turned and pretty much ran ... how in the world am I supposed to hear anything when I’m going at warp speed?  Fortunately, my God speaks to me loudly at times and this morning I finally figured it out.

“Trust in me,” he said.  And I did.  And I got more accomplished {tears of thankfulness and joy starting} today, then I usually accomplish ever.  Bonus for being obedient? I interviewed a candidate for office manager {pickin’s were so slim I can’t even begin to tell you!} today and hired her on the spot!  I never do that!  It was a God thing.

It is amazing what you can accomplish when you turn it over to God ... and for that my Lord, I thank you.  {I feel a song coming on!}:

What if in morning when I wake up

Even before I fill my coffee cup

I said thank You

Thank You

What if I look at the day and the hours ahead

And before I move forward I bowed my head

And said thank You

Oh I said thank You

What if I looked at my life in a different way

Took a little more time to stop and pray

I know it would change all the moments in between

So here I go

Thank You for everything

Thank You for loving me

It don’t even matter what tomorrow brings

Well I will sing my

Thank You for sun and rain

For what You give and take away

For all Your goodness I will always say

Thank You

Oh I’ll say thank You

What if I lost everything that I had

I could smile and somehow still be glad

And say thank You

Thank you

Cause life is joy, life is pain

But the prayer on my heart will never change

I say thank You

Oh I’ll say thank You

{Thank you by 33 Miles. I strongly urge you to purchase.  It’s a catchy little ditty!}