life

I have no idea what I’m doing writing this at 10:30 at night when I am throughly exhausted and really no end in sight to get some much needed rest!  I’m tempted to hit Martaup for some vicodin!  :)

I don’t know ... I’ve had a doozy of events the last couple of days and I guess I wanted to write about some of my feelings.  Write as best I can with toothpicks in my eyes.

I’m trying to train for a triathlon right now and have kind of fallen off the wagon.  I *really* need to get motivated as I want to do this for Marta.  In fact, I want to put a “Team Marta” together.  And I think ... “if she can go through all she’s going through, how can I not get on my bike, or get in the pool?”  So that’s one thing that’s got me down.

Somehow the piles in my office have accumulated to overflowing ... in fact, I took a photo of my desk and was going to use that for this entry.  Then I thought, geez ... everyone has an overflowing desk ... why is mine any different?  I’m up late widdleing down those piles.  {feeling some weight being lifted off the shoulders ... clean desk, light shoulders}.

Yesterday was a day!  Started with an accident ... I was sitting at a green light, waiting for oncoming traffic so I could turn left, when a guy {admittedly} looked down and when he looked up again, I was stopped there.  He hit me at about 40 mph.  I have a sore back and neck, but truly it’s hard to tell if it’s from the accident or life!  When I got to work five employees gave notice they were leaving.  One friend asked me if it was a coo!  ???? !  Three are management and key positions, two are sales associates.  I know all things work out for the best and I’ll rally around it, but it was a bit much to take all in a matter of an hour.

Tuesday’s are my days home with Hunter.  Kindermusik is over for the semester, so we find other things to do.  Today we met Heather and EJ at the children’s museum and had a fun time.  When Hunter’s down for her nap, I usually spend those couple of hours getting caught up on email, mail and other things that get neglected between Tuesday nap times.  But today, Hunter had a speech appointment at Children’s during her nap time, so I knew I wasn’t going to get any work done today.  I could feel my stress level completely rising as I watched over 100 emails come in {via my iphone} throughout the day and knowing I couldn’t get to them.

Anyway, after we left the museum, Hunter and I checked out a new kitchen & bath store in the Third Ward.  Total excitement!!  Great customer service and great products.  Our builders recently informed us they are a month *ahead* of schedule {when does that happen?!?} and I need to get them my selection stuff asap.  Needless to say, I’m about a month *behind* on my selections!  So I was super excited to find this place and will definitely be giving them all my business ... they’ll even do the flooring in my new office!  OH! and get this ... I’m carrying Hunter to look at some selections and the lady I’m working with goes “would she like to watch a movie?”  Ummm, YES!  So she puts Shrek on for Hunter ... fills her snack cup with fresh Cheerios and I’m off to the races!

We met Curt for lunch at the Cheesecake Factory for lunch {photos here} and then went to Hunter’s speech appointment.  We learned Hunter is pretty much on target with her speech.  When we initially filled out all the paperwork, she pretty much wasn’t talking.  Over our spring break vacation she became a ‘word machine!’  We really weren’t as concerned anymore, but since we had filled out the paperwork, we figured we’d take her in anyway.  Bottom line is pretty much that since she was ‘under water’ for most of her life {before last set of tubes this past October} she was just really behind in hearing things clearly and being able to talk.  Anyway, during her appointment today, she was using words that I didn’t even know she had!  I’m watching my little girl interact with this lady and I’m falling in love with her all over again ... how does that happen?

Okay, and now the reason for my post ... I’m stressing all day about the ‘tons’ of things I have to do, about all the emails I need to answer and about all the piles of work I have to get through.  And what do I see at Children’s?  I see really sick kids.  I see really sad parents.  I see families that may not know where a meal is going to come from.  Things immediately get put into perspective, don’t they?  Or do they?

I get home from picking the girls up from school and Curt gives me an hour in the office to get some things done.  An hour didn’t cut it.  We have a little tradition where we have movie nights.  For some reason the girls *love* movie nights.  I do too actually.  It’s one of my favorite times to have all the girls together munching on our popcorn.  Everyone is quiet and absorbed in the movie.  I usually have a kid or two tangled up on my lap.  I really love it.  But tonight, I’m figuring out how I can bring my laptop or some work to movie night.  And then I remember some of the images from the day.  I think about what my girls might remember when they get older ... was mom *really* with us, or was she with her work.  What was more important to me?  I chose to spend some quality time with the blessings the Lord gave me.

I am constantly struggling with trying to balance life.  I want to do right by my children, my husband, my God.  What are the answers?  I don’t know ...

I do know that I’ll probably never know.  I do know that I need to accept that.  I do know that I need to enjoy the journey.  I do know I need to count my blessings ... name them one by one.  I do know I need to put things into perspective.  I do know that I *am* blessed.