that's my baby!

So ... Taylor wants to be a model.  My thought is that at this point in her life, she wants to do whatever it takes to meet Nick Jonas ... or should I say ‘catch his eye.’

She’s got a bit of stage fright {yeah, yeah, sounds familiar}, so singing, acting, dancing ... out.

Modeling?  Sit in front of a camera, dress up, wear make-up ... seems doable!

Curt contacted some people he knows and we set up a shoot at Zoe McKenzie Photography in Chicago.  She needed to bring 8 different changes of clothing, including her riding clothes {is it okay to say I didn’t like how the riding photos turned out, so I didn’t include them?}.  I wasn’t expecting it, but there was a make-up artist there to do hair and make-up.  Pretty much the real deal.

So this past Tuesday, Taylor and I took the train to Chicago and made it to the studio.  The photographer couldn’t have been friendlier, so I think that really helped put Taylor at ease.

They wanted to see what Taylor brought for outfit changes as we slowly pulled out wrinkled shirt, after wrinkled shirt.  In my effort to give her more responsibility, I had her pack up her own clothes.  Maybe I should’ve helped her out on that one.  Not to worry though, they had a steamer and got the wrinkles out as Taylor was having hair and make-up done.

Through this process Taylor {I felt} really relied on me and asked my opinions ... on what outfits to bring, what to expect, etc.  It was fun.

At the shoot, she had me go in the bathroom with her to change and get ready ... I felt included, needed and loved.  What every mom dreams about, right?

Then came time for the shoot ... “Tay, you want me to watch?”  Silence.  To the photographer, “Can I watch?”  Silence.  “No, not really,” the photographer answers.  Then she says to Taylor, “Do you want your mom to watch?”  “No, not really,” Taylor answers.  I was crushed.

I hung my head and slowly walked to loserville.  As I sat there feeling a tad bit sorry for myself, all the while dying to know what was going on at the shoot ... I came to the realization that I had to let go.  I had to understand that in order for Taylor to do what she needed to, and feel comfortable enough to be free in front of the camera ... she didn’t need ol’ mom breathing down her neck.  And I was okay with that.  I got it.

As she came back from the first shoot all smiles and decided what to wear for the next shoot, she grabbed my hand, pulled me in the bathroom to help and told me all about what happened.  Precious moments with her.

Ahhhh ... I’ve got to remember to give, in order to get ... such a hard lesson for a mom that wants to build houses all along her mile long driveway for each of her kids.  Seriously.

Anyway ... I’ve been waiting all week for the email Julia said she would send with a special code to get into the website to see the photos.  It never came, never came.  I finally listened to all the voice mails sitting at home tonight {sorry for anyone reading this that left me a message ... and just a note ... email ... reach me through email} ... anyway, I finally picked up my messages and man! they left me the code last Wednesday!  That’s what I get.

I had an absolutely awesome day with Taylor.  The photographer would show us some of the shots after each shoot and they were remarkable.  Click here to see some more photos.  {We have a disk coming in the mail, so I may add to these ... although, they’re really pretty much the same, just different variations ... oh, and will include her riding outfit shots.}

Sadly, we got home just in time Tuesday to make it to her Opa’s funeral.  She took it really well and it was an incredible gathering in honor of him.  They played German music, had a slideshow, a buffet.  It was really special.

It was so much more emotional for me than I ever thought it would be ... on so many different levels.  I guess I’ll just leave it at that.