too {blessed} to be stressed

blog move ...

2009-03-20T18:27:00.004-05:00

It's with butterflies in my stomach that I'm writing this ...

My photography website is live and I'm ready to share it ... wee!! Why am I so nervous??

I have so much to tell you ... so much has been going on that I want to share. The Lord has been at work in my life and in my heart and I can't wait to tell you all about it!

But ... I'll be telling you on a new blog site, as not only am I changing my look {again!} ... I'm changing my blog address as well.

Because I've imported this blog {all posts} into my new site ... this one will stay here static. If you subscribe via RSS, google reader, bloglines or such ... please update your subscription to the new site. Or resubscribe on the new site.

Yeah ... I'm procrastinating. Look at me typing away delaying the new site addresses. And now I've just wasted three minutes, sitting here with my fingers on the keyboard typing nothing. I'm nervous.

Okay, but here goes ...

http://tsjphotography.com {website}
http://tsjphotography.com/blog {blog}

Gaaaaaa!!! I'll be happy to receive any feedback ... good, bad or otherwise! See ya over there! ;)

noonie

2009-03-20T07:05:00.003-05:00

{via trendy tots}

The name alone will make you want to buy one! I love this adorable little nest ... they're available in a variety of patterns, and you can find them here.

Hint, hint preggo ladies in my life ... or should I be gifting it? ;)

wish list

2009-03-19T07:38:00.001-05:00

Oh what I wouldn't do to look this hip when I'm a tad older. Skinny jeans? I can't pull 'em off now ... sigh ...

Lauren Hutton ... hats off to you girl! Way to rock my J.Crew world!

my budding artist

2009-03-17T20:39:00.003-05:00

Piper loves art. She's been drawing like a mad-woman since preschool. Her hands are constantly covered in markers ... much like a mechanic's hands have a permanent stain of oil and grease.

When Pipes grows up, she wants to be an artist. Maybe she'll stay close to home and go to MIAD? I can dream, can't I? Anyway.

She came home the other day with this story and I had to share ... There was a cover page that said:

"The anaamls medeen" {translated to: The animals meeting}

Once there was a lion. He had a meeting. He was late!

I'm hoping this isn't a metaphor for our family life! :)

happy st. pat's!

2009-03-17T06:26:00.002-05:00

{via the crafty crow}

Looking for a fun St. Pat's craft with the kids? These shamrock pretzel treats are the perfect fix!

And if your looking for some green eye-candy ... check this out!

new lens love!

2009-03-14T20:24:00.002-05:00

Today found me playing 'nakie' hopscotch with Hunter. Well ... she was nakie, I was fully clothed. Um, not so cute if mom were nakie! Hunter had just woke from her nap ... I had taken her pull-up off and didn't put her undies on yet before we started playing.

Is it just me, or does everyone have a soft spot for those little dimpled bare bottoms? Again, talking Hunter's here ... not mine {thank you very much!}.

Anyway. With that little bottom right in front of me ... I couldn't resist ... I finally broke out a new lens I've been dying to try out and I love it!! Love, love, love it! Yum! It's a 50mm 1.2 ... I used it here at 1.2 to see what it would do and how fun? Or is it just me? :)

Oh! And I should mention ... yes, my kids are generally dirty and I don't care. But in this particular case, Hunter had a mean mug of hot chocolate before naptime!

easter anyone?

2009-03-14T13:26:00.001-05:00

I love this picture ... reminds me of spring, pastels, bonnets, and shiny new white Easter shoes! Does anyone have their Easter decorations up yet? Some have told me I'm crazy ... I've had mine up since the Valentine's came down.

{via black*eiffel}

amen!

2009-03-12T04:31:00.000-05:00

{via creature comforts}

i fell in love with my husband ...

2009-03-10T19:56:00.004-05:00

All over again. Seriously big sigh ...

You know how you just get caught up in the same ol' routines? Day in and day out. Stressin' about this, stressin' about that? We lead a pretty busy and somewhat complicated life and sometimes we just lose ourselves ... our marriage, in all of the craziness.

For Christmas the past couple of years, I've given Curt a trip away for just the two of us. He loves it and hey, it's just icing for me, right?

This year, I picked a place on the Turks & Caicos islands ... beautiful! I've been to the islands twice before and stayed somewhere different, so this was fun to explore a new place.

We were instantly relaxed ... seriously relaxed!

The place was quiet, pristine, private ... totally private! Everyone stayed in private pavilions which were situated on I-don't-even-know-how-many acres. And the pavilions were all nestled back in lush vegetation so you couldn't see anyone else.

Here's a photo of ours. There are three sides of full floor-to-ceiling glass walls, so you could see the views all around you. Seriously beautiful. {warning: I may use the word 'seriously' in this post way too much}

A view from our pavilion deck.

A view from our bathroom ... our bed is just beyond this wall ... you can see the seriously beautiful views we had.

A sunset {reflected off the window}. This is our little outdoor dining area. So the views weren't spoiled, it was built-in ... seriously genius!

The pavillion at night ...

Me on our first night to dinner. Gotta love wearing a $19.00 old navy dress to a fancy-schmancy dinner place!

I surprised CJ one night with a beach cove dinner. Had his fav planned for the menu ... anyone? anyone? You guessed it ... cheeseburger and fries. I can just hear his mommy saying, "oh Curtie!"

Lastly, if you wanted privacy ... they had this little wooden starfish that you hung on one of the lights on the path to your pavilion ... how cute?

We had a seriously awesome time {okay, I think I'm done using seriously ... I may have lost a few readers with that}. It was just so great, and so needed to get away and recharge our marital batteries.

We missed the kids terribly ... but we were able to talk without being interupted, we slept, we laughed, we ate, we laid, we read, we kissed, held hands, walked, and had fun ... with each other.

I think every marriage needs time away. Sometimes we'll just take a weekend and head to Chicago if we can. I just think it's so important for a marriage. It's so easy to get caught up in the kids and the calendar that sometimes you lose sight of what is holding the whole thing together in the first place {after God that is ...}.

Click here to see a few more photos. Now if you'll excuse me ... I've got a couple buckets of mail that need tending to ...

kid couture

2009-03-10T13:35:00.000-05:00

{via cool mom picks}

The world would be a happy place if every child I see this spring were wearing these!

a serious.life magazine

2009-03-10T05:39:00.000-05:00

The April issue is available ... check it out by clicking on the image below ... enjoy!

need a pregnant mama

2009-03-09T06:17:00.000-05:00

Who'll let me take a photo like this ... beautiful!
{via kiss the groom}

a boy, a girl & mommy

2009-03-08T19:47:00.000-05:00

I was honored to photograph this family last week, and I learned some things too! Most important ... remember deodorant! I have a tendency to be a big ball o' sweat during these shoots and um, well ... deodorant definitely helps in those sitchs!

Okay, seriously ... this is a beautiful family! Dad was at work, so I had the pleasure of spending a couple of hours with mom and her treasures.

Little miss sunshine was a ball of smiles when I arrived and started playing with her. And of course, as soon as I picked up my camera she was closed mouthed or blowing bubbles ... oh and then there was the complete determination of stuffing her whole fist into her mouth {sometimes her feet if she could get them}. She made me work!

Something I learned is to just let them play. Little man here wanted to get his dracula teeth ... mom was not lovin' that idea. Until I said, "sure, why don't we get a couple shots of dracula." And with digital it's so easy to delete them. Why not make little man happy so we can get some shots mom will love? And honestly, isn't this just a little bit adorable?

Another one where little man had his own ideas for the photo shoot ...

Another hard thing was trying to get one good shot of all three of them. I love photo-journalistic type photography where every frame isn't posed. Just natural shots of the kids playing, interacting, just being. But not every mom is going to want to frame a random shot of the kids playing. Most at least want one shot of everyone together ... I know I do when we have our photos taken.

What I learned is not to be so hard on myself. I was positive I hadn't gotten a single good shot of the three of them together ... but look ... this one isn't bad! And there were even a few more ...

At one point, mom went into the other room to change herself and little man, so I took advantage of her absence and put some cute hats on little miss sunshine ...

I loved their vintage looking furniture ... perfect for the vintage looking post-processing I did for this photo.

And last but not least ... raise your hand if you love a baby in a frilly green skirt!

Thank you Rachel & kids for letting me capture your beautiful family ... truly a blessing! You can find more photos from this shoot here.

for my girls

2009-03-07T09:30:00.004-06:00

So ... I should preface this by saying ... most of my 'deeper' posts start out days ahead of time in my head. I just feel a bunch of thoughts coming on and unfortunately for you dear readers ... they usually end up here in a spewed-out mess of jambalaya!

This post started in my head as a list to my girls. A list of who I want them to be, what my wishes and desires are for them. And as I'm thinking of it and listing it out {in my head}, I realized if I did that in a post, it may seem somewhat morbid without explaining why ... especially given that I'm traveling and away from them and God forbid something happened. So ... here is where this post is coming from.

I had a customer at the store who ordered wedding invitations. Through variety of {honest and unfortunate} mistakes her order was never placed. A few weeks later, she called to inquire about her order. Uh-oh! When we finally found her order and realized what happened, I called her back to explain.

She was very nice, but looking for some sort of compensation. "10 percent?" I asked. "I was really hoping for more than that," she answered. We settled on 20 percent. And that I would do my best to get her envelopes printed and pre-shipped so she could start addressing them.

I told her I'd get back to her the next day. I would be traveling, but would call her as soon as I got in. When we landed, I checked my emails to see if the store had an update for me, and thus began a flurry of upset.

I was told this woman called the store and was very upset and felt 20% was not compensation enough. I was thoroughly confused because it didn't sound like the woman I had talked to the night before. I called the number I was given and was shocked to find out it was the bride's mom!

Now, I admit ... I've probably had my mom cover for me for things far beyond the age of appropriateness {i.e., calling in sick for me ...}. But come on!

This mother was horrendous to talk to. Seriously. It was an honest mistake we'd made. I was doing all I could to rectify the situation. I even offered to hand-address all 175 of her invites!

The mother said she just didn't know that she could 'trust' us, considering how we wronged them. Seriously?!? I may have raised my voice at that point {ever so slightly, mind you}, as I explained to her that I don't run my business that way. It was an honest mistake. We realized what happened {mis-filing} and are doing all we can to make it better.

The wedding isn't until the third{ish} week in May. The reply date is the end of April ... they really have plenty of time for these to get out. I understand the frustration ... but are the accusations and drama necessary?

When I finally hung up the phone with her, she had a 45% discount, rush-processing, and overnight shipping {all paid by bwp}. Curt had an upset wife in a bundle of tears ... mind you, we had literally just arrived and walked into our room at this point.

Okay, so the reason for my post? In playing this all over in my head, I began to wonder ... what is this mother teaching her daughter.

To fight, fight, fight ... break someone down to the point of tears, to get an obscene discount and come off as a problematic person/customer?

Definitely not what I want to teach my children. And so the post begins:

For My Girls
be kind, loving, and generous
hold doors open
say please and thank you
be understanding & patient
hold judgement
leave large tips
clean up after yourself
give to others
be courteous
be respectful ... of everyone
be kind
if someone wants to pass you, let them
honor your family
be joyful
jealousy will get you nothing
work hard
be loving
have goals ... and follow them
pray
be kind
have compassion
be honest
marry a Christian boy
smile ... a lot
if invited for dinner, help wash the dishes
count your blessings, no matter how small
take walks
laugh ... a lot
cherish friendships
be kind
love God with all your heart
love yourself

butterfly, butterfly ...

2009-03-05T16:45:00.003-06:00

{via 100 percent cottam}

I spotted this today over here and decided to get a few. My girls will love it! And whenever I spot something good, I tend to get a couple extra for my stock pile of gifts. The girls get invited to way too many birthday parties ... wowsers!

That's me ... always thinking ahead {not really, but it felt good to say it ...}

tiny tim ... the turtle

2009-03-04T05:14:00.002-06:00

Madness ensues as I'm packing and trying to get the girls settled for granny's visit. How is it you never realize how crazy your life is until you have to explain it to someone else?

CJ and I are headed out of town for an long weekend ... can't wait ... we really need to refresh our marital souls.

Here's a little something to brighten up your day ... Not sure I'll be posting while I'm gone {maybe a preview of the photo session I did yesterday}, so I'll see ya next week!

yes please!

2009-03-02T05:34:00.001-06:00

You can find the trench here and the dress here. Still searching for the legs ...

another maternity shoot {for real}

2009-03-01T20:07:00.003-06:00

I'm excited about this particular shoot because I had something in mind to do and they were my very own ideas. Huh?

Well you see, I am highly inspired by other photographers and other work I see. And some of the photography I've been taking is 'inspired by' what I've seen done.

Some debate, that it's not real art when that happens and is more like copying. Probably true to some extent ... but it still takes skill to understand your camera, lighting, work with a subject and get decent shots. Right?

I'd like to argue that it's a form of being creative ... being inspired by others and feeding off of their work, helps you move further with your own work. At least that's how I feel.

Anyway.

So my very own idea was to put a bare pregnant belly outside with a big chunky sweater & Uggs in the middle of the snow. Fortunately Aime was up for it and ta-da ... some gorgeous photos ensued!

I haven't played with my photos in a while. And while I liked this shot, it felt a little ho-hum to me. So I jazzed it up a little.

Look at those killer eyes ... love 'em!

I loved these shots of her laying down ...

Isn't this belly beautiful?

See? This 'pose' has been around the block ... but I love it and I think it's a great shot for a new mama to treasure.

Isn't she beautiful?!
I have such a hard time choosing which shots to put here. I wish I could post them all! There are a few more on my facebook page and you can check them out here.

Enjoy! {p.s., if you'd ever like to view any images on my blog larger, just click on the photo}

i'm so glad i didn't miss this ...

2009-03-01T13:35:00.003-06:00

At Christmas this past year, Curt played a movie he'd put together of videos he taped throughout the year. A sad realization came over me as I watched it ... I wasn't with during any of the moments that were taped.

They'd been trips he'd taken up here, at the lake. Moments on their little camping adventures and hikes in the yard. Waterparks when I was busy. Moment's I'd missed out on.

But not this time.

I've had an amazing weekend with my family and I'm so glad I didn't miss it. First off ... CJ cooked every meal ... and cleaned up afterwards! He'd shoo me out of the kitchen and I'd spend time with the girls.

And then there's spending time with the girls. Snuggled up watching a movie. Connect Four with Hunter. Apples to Apples with Taylor and Ana. Constant amazement at how big Hunter is getting. And you know that secret glance you give your hubby when no one else in the world's hearts are swelled with love as large as yours, over something your child just did ... I had many of those glances with CJ this weekend.

And I marvel at how great it is to not be consumed with 'busyness' so that I'm able to connect with my hubby through a glance.

Granted, I've logged some computer time as well. I've been working on editing the last maternity session I did ... and I'm excited to share some with you soon.

But back to our weekend ... CJ took the girls out snowmobiling. I'm embarrassed to say, in the past, I usually stay in the house {most likely napping, or locked to my computer}, but not this time. Things are a changin' I tell you!

So he's got a toboggan hooked up to the back of the snowmobile {and today, a small sled to the back of the toboggan} and we took the girls {and dogs} around and around the long driveway circle.

I sat backwards on the snowmobile smiling from ear-to-ear. The girls were having the times of their lives. Even little Huntie. Even miss teenager and friend!

We took Taylor & Ana out onto the golf course {shhh ...}. Curt does not take it easy on them. His ultimate challenge and joy is to whip them off that toboggan. It took a lot of effort, but he finally managed it a few times.

We're packing up to head home soon. Back to the grind, back to the everyday.

My prayer is to remember the feeling in my heart right now and strive for that in the midst of the tempting 'busyness' jungle.

family matters

2009-02-28T10:15:00.000-06:00

We're at the lake this weekend and this visit has a particularly special meaning to me ... you see, Curt planned this visit with the little girls. He often brings them up here, because I'm 'busy' doing this-or-that {or, in my own defense, have something going on with Taylor}.

Well ... enough of that! This weekend I am doing away with my 'busyness' and I am here! Present and accounted for. Shout with me ... amen and hallelujah!

Big sigh ...

I had a bible study on Wednesday night. We're studying a book from Max Lucado, Facing Your Giants {awesome read if you haven't already} and this past week we studied Chapter 17, Family Matters.

I've talked about it many times before, but it's something I really, really struggle with. Finding the balance between work, busyness, and family. I think if we're honest, most of us struggle with that balance.

This weeks bible study really hit home with a lot of people ... thank you all for letting me know.

As a side note, I've started feeling discouraged with the bible study ... feeling that people weren't interested anymore, or getting anything out of it. I started looking at other 'studies' we could do {which we will move on eventually} that might be more interesting. But after praying about it and not finding another 'study', I feel the Lord is telling me he isn't finished teaching us what we're studying right now.

I've come to realize Satan is putting these thoughts into my head, and just when I needed it most, the Lord has given me encouragement through you.

So back to 'Family Matters' ... we're studying the life of King David {of David & Goliath fame}. Did you know this great man, who masterminded military conquests, founded the capital city of Jerusalem, who wrote the book of Psalms, and killed the giant Goliath ... failed his family?

I think we can learn a lot from his failure ...

There isn't an account in the bible where David prayed for his family. Out of all the scripture he's written and all the prayers he's said ... we can't find that he's prayed over his family or written scripture for them.

He prayed for his army, his friends, and even his enemy ... why then is he silent about his family?

To paraphrase Max Lucado ... Was he too busy to notice them? Maybe. Too important to care for them? Too guilty to direct or discipline them?

Too busy, too important, too guilty ... and now? Too late. David's son had overthrown the city and exiled David. David was destined to die alone, in a stranger's arms.

But it's not too late for us. I realize chances are we won't be overthrown or exiled. And we most likely will not die alone. And our children and families will most likely be there for us.

But here's a thought ... will they be there out of duty, or because they want to.

Our homes are our giant-sized privilege. We need to make it our towering priority.

A privilege? Yes, a privilege. God has given us our families. He has given us our husbands, wives and children.

For those of us in happy marriages ... thank God. If it were not in his plan, we would be roaming from marriage to marriage. Relationship to relationship.

I realize I've made, and apologize {deeply} for the mistakes I've made along the way. But after many guilt-filled prayers ... I know, without a doubt, this is where God wants me to be.

How about those of us with children? Having children isn't 'a given' ... there are many that can't have children. And for those that have adopted children ... those little souls have been given to you.

We need to honor our families, our spouses, our children. By honoring them, we are glorifying and pleasing the One who allowed us to have them in the first place.

"Your children are not your hobby, they are your calling."

"Your spouse is not your trophy, but your treasure."

Some of us {guilty here!}, put value on what we do. We measure our worth by our accomplishments.

I meet someone at a dinner party and am asked, "What do you do?" And I try my best to list off all my 'busyness' and accomplishments. It somehow doesn't seem justifiable that I stay home with my kids ... or maybe work a desk job part-time so I can make the most of my family time.

I saw Soledad O'Brien speak once {and I know I've posted about this before ... see? I'm still struggling with the same ol' issues!}, and she said something that hit me:

"As women, we feel some sort of pleasure in 'one-uping' each other in our busyness." I think, to some extent, that it's true. But the most important part of her message? "It's not a competition."

Get that? It's not a competition. God hasn't designed us for busyness ... which is maybe why we can't handle it? There's no glory in it. And does it really make us feel better letting someone know how much busier we are?

It used to make me feel better. Honestly it did. I somehow felt justified as a woman, mother, wife. Lord knows I didn't want anyone thinking I sat around watching Oprah and eating bon-bons all day! :)

Anyhow.

It's taken me a long time, {and if I'm honest here, a part of me will probably struggle with it forever} but I'm finally ready to give up the busyness. And I truly, truly can't wait.

It was so hard to decide to sell the store. And now that I have, I can't get rid of it fast enough {quite literally ... I'm not getting rid of it fast enough!}.

I have a list of things that I can't wait for ... top of the list being my family. I can't wait to be 'present' for my family.

My broker has said that the potential buyer I met with should be writing on Monday with an answer. I am praying {oh Lord, where are these tears coming from?!?} the Lord 'answers' with an offer.

I've come across a couple of links through twitter this morning, and I urge you to check them out ... both are very inspirational {I promise!}. You can find them here and here.

I believe there's a balance to be had in all of this. As I've written before, I don't want my kids to remember "in a minute" ... "I'll be right there" ... "let me finish this up first."

I started this post last night, but instead of {as I would've in the past} staying up late and finishing it up, I decided to spend some time with the hubs reading in bed. Today has been a mixture of writing, watching a dance show, writing, playing backgammon, writing, piano playing ... well, you get the idea.

The kids call me or ask me to do something, so I put the computer down and go play. And when I'm done with this post, I'll put it away.

I'm a work in progress, and I'm thankful I have a God who works on me a little bit every day.

It's not too late for me {or for you}.

"Make your wife the object of your highest devotion. Make your husband the recipient of your deepest passion. Love the one who wears your ring.

And cherish the children who share your name.

Succeed at home first."

empty bowls

2009-02-27T13:46:00.003-06:00

Mark your calendar and bring the family! This is a great organization, fundraiser and family event. Monday, March 2 {11-2 for lunch and 4-7 for dinner} at the Masonic Center in Racine.

We went last year, brought the kids and loved it!

Empty Bowls is a hunger-fighting event to remind us there is always an empty bowl ... somewhere. Choose a handmade ceramic bowl that have been made from area schools and other organizations. Then choose from a variety of delicious soups prepared by local chefs ... find a seat and enjoy music performed by local musicians.

$15 per meal {you pick out and keep the bowl}. $5 for children under 10 {styrofoam bowl}. And $7 for soup to go. Bring in a canned good donation and/or an empty bowl from a previous year and earn an additional chance to win a special bowl set.

See ya there!

calling all newborns ...

2009-02-27T06:27:00.002-06:00

Anyone got a new peanut I can put in here and photograph?

rain, rain go away

2009-02-26T19:43:00.000-06:00

{via a little sussy}

It's the rainy season ... dreary, cold, damp and wet. But there's something about this bubble that brightens my dreary-day blues.

Best of all? It's only $16.99 at Target!

yummy recipe

2009-02-25T21:25:00.002-06:00

I had a bible study tonight. Great subject ... family matters. Thanks ladies for coming and opening your hearts tonight ... I really enjoyed the discussions. Be careful what you wish for ... I was wrong ... you ladies can talk! :)

Anyway, I made this yummy dish for the ladies and it's super easy so thought I'd share it with y'all.

It's the most amazing little party snack! Why? Cuz it's tasty {duh!}, but more importantly ... super, duper easy! Yes ... I did, in fact, just say super duper.

Here's what you'll need:
2 cups swiss cheese {which you can purchase shredded}
2 cups coursely chopped sweet onion {very important it's sweet}
2 cups of mayo {real mayo, not the reduced fat stuff!}

Mix, bake at 350 for 40ish minutes and 'ta-da' {Hunter's been saying 'ta-da' about almost everything lately ... warms a mommy's heart} ... you've got yourself a party!

another maternity shoot

2009-02-25T06:00:00.000-06:00

Isn't this an awesome photo? One of my favs from yesterday's shoot ... know why? Cuz it reminds me not to be an idiot next time I'm shooting someone's photos!

Check your settings, check your settings, check your settings. I may need to write this on the board 100 times ...

I was SO excited to get this particular pose {I promise to post the real thing as soon as I'm done going through them all ... Miss Aime was patient enough to pose for them all over again} ... that I just started shooting away!

They were beautiful shots ... at least through my lens. I didn't even check my images to see what I was shooting. About 10 photos in, I decided to check and realized ...

D'oh! I'm an idiot! Bear with me world ... I have not yet blossomed.

do something good!

2009-02-24T05:50:00.000-06:00

Okay folks ... this is a no brainer!

We're all starting to use recyclable bags, right? {and come on ... if you're not, you should be!} Well, FEED has designed a product that not only helps the earth ... it feeds the world! Genius!

Purchase one of these reusable bags and you'll help feed anywhere from one child to one hundred children in school for one year ... that's incredible! And a must-do if you ask me.

The FEED 100 bag costs only $30.00 ... a very small investment to feed 100 children.

Don't need one for yourself? Give it as a gift ...

my first maternity shoot

2009-02-23T21:59:00.004-06:00

Thank you, thank you Ben & Lisa for being so patient and open with me!

Lisa was up for my suggestions and 'just wanted to help me get my portfolio built.' Thank you ... I think these will be perfect for my portfolio.

I ran into some difficulties in Lightroom {like losing all my post-processed files!}, so it took me longer than I had anticipated ... but I'm done ... and ready for bed! Just wanted to quickly post a few of these.

I also posted a few more on my facebook page ... enjoy!

wrong.

2009-02-23T13:00:00.004-06:00

This, my friends, is what you call an Oscar "don't."

Harry, did you see your wife before she left the house? And more importantly, were you okay with it? Seriously?

let's force spring

2009-02-23T05:50:00.000-06:00

{via my mom shops}

Maybe if we sprinkle our lawns with lemonade stands, spring will come early?

drooling

2009-02-21T13:31:00.000-06:00

I'm so in love with this outfit.

winner, winner ... chicken dinner!

2009-02-21T07:40:00.000-06:00

Have you heard that before? I hadn't til I saw the movie '21' ... have you seen it? Not a bad flick. It about Vegas and card dealing. And apparently "winner, winner, chicken dinner" is a standard saying in Vegas.

That, of course, is according to the movie. As I've been there a few times and have done my share of gambling and have never heard the words uttered.

But for some reason, whenever I'm announcing a winner {cuz I do it a lot you know!} ... those words instantly come to mind.

Oh! And it sounds even better if you say it with a bit of a chinese accent. "Wiener, wiener ... cheeken deener ..."

{I know you just said it ...}

So who's the winner of my fabulous giveaway? Why it's none other than the amazing, incredible, fun-loving, splits-doing, hip-replacing ... Lisa Mahnke! YAY Lisa!

I used random.org to pick a 'wiener' ... why didn't I know about this site before?

Thanks everyone for 'playing' ... I'm thinking I may need to have another giveaway ... that was fun, no?

enough said.

2009-02-20T06:30:00.000-06:00

{via design crush}

all is right with the world

2009-02-19T20:10:00.009-06:00

I'm starting to feel overwhelmed. Again.

It happens every so often. I try to keep stress at bay, but somehow, someway ... when I'm least expecting it ... it creeps in on me.

Evident by the sudden onset of tears when I saw an email that CJ's out of town next week. He has a tendency to keep his stress at bay by not going over his calendar with me. Smart guy ...

Anyway.

I'm not complaining {I promise!}, but it's difficult when we're gone so much, cuz there's just so much catching up to do when we get home. I am blessed to be able to travel and have great experiences with my kids and family ... so I promise I'm not complaining ... I just wish I could lighten the work load a little.

Oh! Wait! I am ... as soon as the store sells! :)

I'm filling in at work for some vacant positions. It's sort of a weird transition I'm in, because I don't necessarily want to fill positions a new owner might not want filled. Not to mention it may be difficult to find someone who's willing to start, only to be let go? Hmmm ...

Did you miss rambling Tracie? Cuz I think she's back ...

So. I worked late tonight while CJ got the girls from school and got them settled in at home til the babysitter came over ... and then met me at the store. We went to dinner and had a good time. Thank you Curtis.

But when I got home and dropped my purse and stuff in my office, this is what I found ...

Yuck! Our mail comes in by the truckload {it seems} and I just haven't been able to get to mine since we've got home ... and now I'm suffering the consequences! So if you've sent me something and I haven't replied ... I'm so sorry!

Oh! And this is just my mail ... CJ has his own. Ay yi yi!

But wait!

I walk down the hall to the girls room and am greeted with this image {okay, I ran back to get my camera ... but this is what I saw}! My girls.

Somehow it makes the world right, doesn't it?

This girl is getting too big. She's trying so hard to be like her big sisters. And now she's even asking when she can sleep in her big girl bed ... uh-oh! Mama so ain't ready for that!

Moral of this post? Even though stress is starting to ooze a bit out of my pores, I take one look at these little creatures ... these miracles God's blessed me with, and all is right with the world.

celebrating the holidays

2009-02-19T06:47:00.003-06:00

Because we were out of town, I was late on the whole valentine thing this year. Actually, I'm going to give myself a bit of kudos action ... because I've actually had the girls valentine's gifts since early January {I know, right?}.

I got the cute little dolls from Chasing Fireflies {can't find the product anymore, but my-oh-my there is some serious eye candy going on at that website!}, and the baskets I use every year {thank you Pottery Barn Kids}. I also found some cute little trinkets at PBK that I added to their baskets.

Anyhow.

After we got home from Aspen and I got their baskets together, they looked so cute all lined up that I needed to take a photo and felt the urge to share. :)

And since I was sharing ... I was reminded that I had taken a photo of their St. Nick's gifts and forgot to share!

I decided to start a tradition, and although they may be too young to appreciate it now ... I really like the idea! They each got a 'date' with mom & dad. We gave them gift cards to their favorite restaurant and toy store. Miss teenager got a gift card to the mall.

I'd like to try to start more traditions and things that the girls can 'count' on and look forward to. We haven't taken them on their dates yet ... but with spring right around the corner {dream with me, will ya?} ... I'm thinking we're going to get those on the schedule soon!

I think one-on-one time with children is so important. Don't you?

giveaway anyone?

2009-02-18T06:08:00.005-06:00

I often receive sample products at the store from new designers. Some I decide to carry, some I don't.

In years past, I've saved all the products 'til year end for the BWP Christmas dinner and our infamous white elephant exchange. I box and wrap up all the treasures I've received through the year and put it in the pile with everyone else's ... needless to say, a box full of stationery treasure in a roomful of stationery junkies is ... dangerous!

Since I'm not going to be at the BWP Christmas dinner this year ... since I'm still receiving samples ... and since I have more stationery than I know what to do with ...

I thought it would be fun to give something away. Whadda ya think?

These samples are from Ann Kelle ... they're pretty cute! There's a calendar mouse pad, two list pads {each a different color}, a doodle pad, 8 notecards {different styles}, and it all comes in a cute little box! Anyone want them?

Just leave a comment and I'm going to do a random draw ... so no need to worry about being clever with your response {I sweat when I have to do that!!} ... just a random comment is good enough.

Good luck!

soap?

2009-02-17T15:03:00.008-06:00

I just saw this soap from LoveLeeSoaps on Etsy! Yes folks ... it's really soap! Fun, no?

I'm thinking my MIL would like this one ...

And shhhh ... I got this for Curt's birthday {it's not 'til May, but I gotta stock up when I find something!}. Oh, and sorry folks, I bought the last one. :)

last thoughts from aspen

2009-02-15T21:06:00.003-06:00

Amazing. Breathtaking. Exhausting? :)

I spent a couple of hours this afternoon skiing with the girls and it was amazing, breathtaking and exhausting!

It completely amazes me that my little peanuts, who started out on the magic carpet only a few short years ago, are now able to take the lift all the way to the top of the mountain and ski down to the bottom.

At one point, Wynter was leading Piper, two instructors and me! Crazy!

Taylor and Ana spent the day on a different mountain ... and there too, just seems so surreal that they're old enough to go to a different mountain without us. They had an instructor with them, but there takes a certain amount of 'letting go' to allow it to happen.

I love these girls so much. They are all so precious to me in their own individual ways. I thank God for them every morning.

I am blessed.

greetings from aspen

2009-02-15T11:38:00.008-06:00

The girls are having a great time!

Piper is a skiing machine ... she doesn't want to come in at the end of the day and is aching to get out again the next morning. And little Huntie's been a trouper ... she looks forward to seeing her 'snow instructor' each morning. Wynter seems to be having fun too, she's picked it up again quickly and isn't complaining ... she's dragging by the end of the day, but enjoys it.

I was walking the girls down the mountain this morning, while taking some pictures and Wynter was skiing around me ... weird, surreal and cute all at the same time.

For skiing once a year, I honestly can't believe how well they're doing. This afternoon is my turn to ski with them {while Curt stays in with Hunter for her nap} and I'm looking forward to it.

I'm going to leave my camera in the room, so I can just soak up being with them. Here's some shots I took while going down with them this morning ...

Wynter and Piper hamming it up ...

Taylor on her board ...

And the little girls going down ... I was having a hard time keeping up with them. Granted, I was in boots ... but still!

valentine prayer needed ...

2009-02-14T17:37:00.002-06:00

My sweet friend Lori, is struggling and I'd like to ask for prayer for her. It hurts me so much to know she's in so much pain and to realize what her family is going through.

I urge you, beg you really ... please pray for this family. You can visit her site here to see what specific prayer is needed ... but for sure they need to be surrounded in prayer.

Hug your family tighter, let the little things go ... most of what we are 'dealing' with could be so much more. Speaking for myself here as I realized this just moments ago when I got Lori's latest update.

I apologized to my husband, gave him a big hug, had a little cry ... and will count my blessings. I will name them one by one.

happy valentine's day

2009-02-14T06:39:00.001-06:00

Yeah, the subject's been brought up once or twice. {you may have to click the image to view it larger}

Isn't this card cute? Thanks to Kate Spade, you can find tons more here. It isn't too late to send one to your sweetie!

kids on skis

2009-02-13T16:32:00.015-06:00

I can't believe it's been a year already! The girls get 2 days off of school for 'long winter weekend' ... and we always head to Aspen. We've been coming here since Taylor was four or five? Unbelievable!

This is the first year Hunter's come with and I'm so glad she did. Honestly, I didn't want her to come along ... I thought everyone would have a better trip without her. Just in the fact that she's so little and still needs a nap and wouldn't be able to ski all day.

We typically get instructors for the girls, meet up for lunch and then ski with them in the afternoon. If Hunt was along, one of us would have to go in with her for her nap.

Curt talked me into bringing her along {and then forgot he did that, and couldn't believe we were bringing her .. men!} ... but I'm SO glad he talked me into it. She is beyond precious!

She did a great job this morning and had a lot of fun doing it. My heart was swelling with mom-pride! And beware, I have just a few photos from our day ... mostly of Hunter, but I just couldn't narrow it down.

Here's Tay on her board. Ana's with us too, but somehow managed to stay out of the way of my lens!

A little collage of Hunter. Love the nukie on the magic carpet! She ended her lesson with a goldfish/gatorade snack ... precious!

Taylor and Wynter before we took off this morning.

And another shot of them I liked.

Daddy and Hunter.
Hunter's first time going down without the instructor holding on to her.

Piper ... gotta love that awkward 'my teeth are growing in stage!'

Piper skiing down.

Wynter skiing down.

And there you have it! I'm having a little bit of a hard time out in the brightness {sun and snow} with my eye. My contrast vision is off and it's hard to look and see. It's putting some strain on it, but I'm getting through okay.

We all seem to be getting better and I think it's going to be a great weekend!

Funny dad story:

The girls are all on meds right now and Piper is having a very difficult time taking hers. Poor thing has been taking antibiotics for what seems like the last couple of months and is over it! She can't stand the taste and we have this whole proceedure for her.

We line up her medication, glass of water, and chocolate of some sort {at home it's a mini chocolate donut, here's it's a hotel pillow chocolate}. I plug her nose and give her the medication, she drinks the water afterwards and it's not until she's eating the chocolate that I can unplug her nose.

All of this is proceeded by mucho crying and whining that she won't take her medicine.

So this morning, dad's got a brilliant scenario for her explaining why she needs to take her meds. Ready?

"You're not always going to like everything you eat. Sometimes you'll be in situations where you're not going to like what someone's serving. Say you're visiting the president of China someday {say what?!?}, and maybe he's serving boiled jellyfish ... you're probably not going to like it, but it would be very rude not to eat it."

Piper suddenly had an epiphany and took her meds without another complaint! Um, yeah ... not so much.

{and FYI, he's ROFL right now at SpongeBob SquarePants ... yeah, that's the guy I'm married to ... and I love him anyway}

a little fun with bacon

2009-02-12T07:10:00.010-06:00

Got a lot of packing to do? Need to take a shower? Kids to feed? Get easily distracted with mindless entertainment? Yep, yep, yep and affirmative!

Look what I found! A link that adds a slab of bacon to your website!

Does anyone else see the mindless entertainment factor here? Or am I that desperate to procrastinate all the tasks at hand?

All you do is add a website after this link http://bacolicio.us/ and ... presto! Bacon!

Follow the links below ...

A little Stier-Johnson grease ...

Some stationery grease ...

Fooling with my friends grease ...

No one's immune to grease ...

If you need to waste a little time today ... try it out!

sigh ...

2009-02-11T22:49:00.003-06:00

Seems like it's been a long day. Well ... I guess ... cuz it has been a long day.

We just got in from a retirement party for a great man that Curt worked with. The company surprised him by flying his children in to be there tonight ... so amazing! I love this man and it was so incredible to hear the wonderful things everyone had to say about him. He definitely deserved it!

His children got up and spoke and I loved something they said, that they only knew him as dad. He came home and was just dad. Didn't bring business home, didn't seem 'busy' ... he was just dad. What an accomplishment in my view.

We were going to be leaving mid-day tomorrow for Aspen, but with some weather moving in, we need to leave in the morning. I have no one packed and much to do. I had tried to get ahead of the game and started making a pile of their snowsuits, boots, helmets ... but it all got put away. Blagh!

Anyway.

I'm about to join the hubs in bed and am going to put any stresses behind me {wish me luck with that?}. ;)

nite-nite!

what does a sick day look like?

2009-02-10T20:25:00.005-06:00

The ladies in our house all have strep ... mama included! Curt got home last night and is pretty sick too ... not sure strep has got him yet.

Then Taylor texted mid-day to say that she visited the nurse and has strep too. Unfortunately, the baby was sleeping and I couldn't go get poor Tay. She said she'd stick it out and I called for meds.

Yesterday, I woke with a sore throat and hoped against all hope that it wouldn't turn into more. But it did {self-diagnosis, but still ...}. My glands are so swollen, I look like Mr. Thick Neck. And they hurt. And my throat hurts. And my body aches all over. And I have a fever. And I have a headache. And I don't want to go to work today. But I have to.

Anyhoo.

The three little girls were home with me yesterday and we had a pretty nice time. Besides the fact I could've fallen asleep in the middle of lunch!

And why is it when kids are sick they still ooze energy from every pore? Not fair.

The girls and I worked on goodie bags for their class parties tomorrow {of which they'll miss because we're heading out of town}. We had a great little production line going, and even the baby helped. We packed up some 45 favor bags ... whew!

One of the 'goodies' was a miniature connect four game. So Piper and I played a quick game between filling bags. I get all my favor bag stuff from Oriental Trading ... super inexpensive and they have everything under the sun!

Before lunch we went outside for some fresh air ... it was gorgeous out!

And lastly, we did do this! I should admit ... I did it, but the girls seemed impressed with my creative abilities ... okay, so really they were sitting on the couch and could've cared less what I was creating ... but Curt seemed impressed {honest}.

I told the girls we were going to make an apple pie for dad and showed them the cute little boxes and thought they'd be all over the project. I was wrong.

Piper: But dad doesn't like apple pie.

Mom: He doesn't?

Piper: No one in our family likes apple pie.

Mom: Really?

Piper: Do you?

Mom: No.

Piper: See? No one in our family likes apple pie.

I sure hope the girls teachers like apple pie, cuz they've got some coming their way. Didn't these turn out cute?

tuesday randomness

2009-02-10T06:45:00.003-06:00

Alrighty ... so dad's out of town. What does that mean? Sumin's going down, that's what it means.

Piper, Wynter and Hunter all have strep throat! What the heck? And then I couldn't even take them to the doctor, so an awesome case of 'mom-of-the-year' guilties set in.

Tay had her modeling class in Brookfield and there was no way I could do both. And Curt was traveling. What's a family to do? 'Super Granny' {my mom} to the rescue ... fractured wrist and all! Thanks again mama for taking them ...

Today, Hunter and I had lunch scheduled with my bestie and now we're all home sick. I think it'll be a great day to work on valentine's cards, goodie bags {how did I get signed up for both girls valentine's parties?!?}, and I might be stretching here ... but maybe we can even work on this!

And for some more randomness ... I'm not sure I posted about the birthday party Curt threw for me back at home {I know I gushed all over the Mexico party}? Anyway, I've got the photos from the party up here {thank you Neil & Front Room Photography}.

The party was a blast and I sure was spoiled! We had a bowling party, dinner and then rented a theater for a movie. Curt had the video he put together for me play before the actual movie ... all our friends were there ... it was an awesome night ... and I am blessed.

Now off to tend to some sick kiddos!

a big ol' mystery ...

2009-02-09T12:28:00.002-06:00

That's what I am.

Those were my doctor's parting words this morning {after a two hour appointment!}. Not super encouraging.

Be warned: this post may be long, over-informative, and a jumbled mess of thoughts.

Do I have MS? Not at this time. Quote: "I don't think that you fulfill diagnostic criteria for definite multiple sclerosis. I recommend that you undergo a repeat brain MRI in 6 months to look for signs of multiple sclerosis."

He gave me an awesome print out of his notes ... along with an email address! He was a great doc and I feel confident with his care.

He's going to contact Mayo for the MRI they did and review it. He even said, "it's not like I'm going to find something they missed, but I'd like to take a look and see what they did exactly."

There's a certain MRI of the thoracic spinal cord that he's interested in. If they didn't do it up there, he'd like to do it here. There is a lesion that could show up in that area, that would definitely cause the symptoms I'm having.

I've also got a bladder 'thing' that I didn't really realize was an issue.

Okay, and then say they did in fact do an MRI of that particular area and it comes up clean ... there's a possibility I could have something called 'autonomic neuropathy.' There's a super strange 3 hour test that can be done, but he doesn't want to do it at this point. {oh! and no spinal tap or anything else at this point}.

He did a bunch of blood work to test for some other possible things and will let me know if he finds anything out.

So ... overall? So glad there is no MS diagnosis. Overall? Frustrated that "I'm a mystery."

I think as women {and maybe I'm only speaking for myself here}, we tend to 'put up' with our symptoms and deal with them. Always feeling a bit 'blown off' by doctors. I can't tell you how many times doctors {including ER docs} have told me, "You're stressed. You're tired. You have a new baby. You have a business. Try to get some rest." Blah!!

When talking to my neurologist at my recent appointment, I told her because I'm used to being blown off, I'm apprehensive to list off every symptom I've been having ... now and in the past, that could be relative to what I'm going through right now.

Her reply was awesome! She completely agrees and even lectures to that fact. She says men hate her lectures and women applaud her. If a man were to walk in the ER with some of the symptoms I have, or women have ... they'd immediately be hooked up to EKG's, tested, etc., etc. But we women, are told we're stressed.

I think it sucks. And it also makes me not want to admit to anything going on. Does that make sense?

Blah.

Again ... I'm super, super happy things look good right now {honestly, praise God and thank you for all your prayers!!}. But just frustrated that I know I feel something going on and not being able to get to the bottom of it.

I do trust God has this in his hands, with his timing, and his diagnosis. I will 'give it to him.'

And in the meantime, I am going to get my butt moving. I am motivated to start moving. Jenny, your twitter helped me with that today! I need to 'healthy' up my life ... not to mention that triathlon will be here before I know it!!

And after all that ranting, I should reiterate, I'm very confident in the care that I'm receiving and the doctors I'm seeing. They haven't blown me off and seem very interested in getting to the bottom of everything for me.

I am blessed. {sometimes I just need to let off a little steam ...}

monday randomness

2009-02-09T05:42:00.004-06:00

Look what I just ordered!! Do you 'Etsy?' If not, you totally should!! I get emails from them on featured products and this camera was featured yesterday. I'm too excited.

A few years ago, my brother-in-law found an old vintage camera and thought I would be the perfect owner of it ... I've had it up on my shelf since then. And for my last birthday, Heather gave me another vintage camera {awesome Etsy find}. So when I saw this one I thought ... I'm going to start a little vintage camera collection! Can't wait to get it!

Lastly, I wanted to share a little hubby humor ... I think you ladies will appreciate this:

So ... after my last appointment with my neurologist, I called Curt to tell him about my appointment {after all, wouldn't he be anxious to know how it went?}. First, I asked him how things went with the girls in the morning {he was on drop off duty}, and we talked about that for a bit. Then before I knew it, we were hanging up.

I called back and told him I called to tell him about my appointment. "Oh yeah," he says, "I was going to ask." Hmmm.

I mist up a little and tell him about touching my cheek instead of my nose. And then ... get ready for this ...

"Were you trying?" he asks. WHAT?!? Um, yeah ... I promise I was trying my hardest to touch my nose! I think he sensed a bit of frustration on my end, so he tries again.

"I mean were you being cautious," he says. Hubby just dug a hole that he's trying hard to get out of.

I cautiously end our conversation. {and then probably asked God to forgive me for all the horrible things I just thought about the poor man I married!}

But that's not the end ...

A couple days later, he's asking about my appointment this week {today}, and asks, "Have you been practicing?"

MEN!!

new photos & some randomness

2009-02-08T07:38:00.003-06:00

Happy Sunday lovelies!

I've finally finished weeding through our recent Exuma photos ... I tried to narrow them down, as not to bore you! :) You can find them here. It was the first time I busted out my new camera and I had a great time with it ... bum-eye and all. Thank you again Curt, for such an awesome present!

So ... we're in Arizona for the petrified rock show. Gems, stones, geodes, crystals. It's absolutely amazing ... not only the the beauty of the stones, but just the sheer magnitude of the 'show.' It's set up all over the city, in different warehouses and hotels. You literally walk through the hotels and peoples rooms are converted to 'stores.' The show runs for three weeks, so these people are sleeping in their hotel rooms and living out of their suitcases for that long. And the rest of the year, for a lot of them, is spent digging and excavating for these stones ... amazing!

On a down note ... the dino poop is sold out. Such disappointment! Never fear though ... we've placed an order for some, and hope to have it in a few weeks. Just not the same as coming home with a bag of petrified poop!

Curt's mom comes out here every year. And since our girls love going to her house and coming home with petrified treasures, we decided to come along this year. His brother and sister are here as well, with a couple of their kids ... so the girls are having a blast playing with their cousins.

We'll be headed home this afternoon ... probably a good thing as all three girls are pretty sick. Poor Huntie threw up most of the plane ride here, and then again in the car to the hotel and we just can't seem to get her fever to go away. Wynter's nose has been bleeding on and off and she's just plain sick and now Piper has started with her awful cough again. Yuck!

Lastly, just wanted to ask for prayers for me. I have my appointment with the MS specialist at 8:00 tomorrow morning. I have an unbelievable amount of peace surrounding the situation ... mostly I'm just anxious to find an answer. Thank you, thank you for the prayers you've already surrounded me with!

God's blessings to you all!

your life story in one place

2009-02-06T05:30:00.000-06:00

{via design crush}

I've tried to be a journaler ... it's just never worked out for me. You know, good intentions and all ...

When I put pen to paper, my mind goes crazy and my hand never seems to be able to keep up. That's why I started this blog. I love keeping my life's story this way ... it works for me.

But ... if I journaled in the traditional sense of the word ... this would be the journal for me!

love this tweet

2009-02-05T19:38:00.002-06:00

I follow Max Lucado on twitter, and this is what he just tweeted {thought it tied it perfectly to what I posted this morning}:

"Oh, what peace we often forfeit. Oh, what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer."

update

2009-02-05T09:12:00.004-06:00

Just got done at my appointment with my neurologist and a few have asked, so thought I'd do a quick post {early lunch Nellie! :)}.

I started keeping track of anything that's been going on with me that may be considered a 'symptom' ... so went through that list with her.

A couple of things have been, my legs giving out on me, night sweats {yuck!}, and then the hand tremors {guys, I only drink a half cup of coffee in the morning, I failed to mention that in my last post}. I've got an appointment with an MS specialist at Froedtert on Monday, and he'll really be the one to tell me more.

Dr. Purath {my neurologist} said he's spent two years researching MS ... so if he ends up saying I don't have it, then we can put it to bed. Needless to say, I'm pretty anxious for that appointment.

Overall, I'm really not sure what to make of my appointment today. I did the whole "close your eyes and touch your nose with your index finger test." Right finger ... landed on my nose. Left finger ... landed on my cheek. I started crying.

My motor skills aren't normal on my left side and I still have decreased sensation on my left side.

Anyway, my doctor's been an absolute blessing to me and I'm thankful she's on my side. She said the specialist will order a variety of tests, one most likely being a spinal tap. I'm not sure I even want to know what that involves?

I'm feeling a little nervous about all of this. But I'm still not freaking out. I have given it to Him and will continue to do so ... I know he has a plan for me, and I rest trusting in that fact.

a lesson in giving it to Him

2009-02-05T05:39:00.001-06:00

I believe I may have mentioned once or twice that I learn things at a snail's pace? I've got a good lesson that I want to share with y'all.

Some of you may have an 'ah-ha' moment, and some of you may think I'm crazy, but here goes ...

Something I've struggled with over the years in owning the store is pride. Of course I'm proud of the store and my accomplishments, and it's been exciting to know how others love this place I've created. And part of that is just natural and okay ...

But it seems {and of course took me too long to realize} the pride I felt was starting to turn into a sinful type of pride. An arrogance if you will.

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. {Proverbs 11:2 NIV}

One of the reasons I never wanted to sell the store is because I didn't want to lose that feeling of pride when someone found out I owned "Broadway Paper" {read that in a most sarcastic voice}. And honestly, there were many times I wouldn't even tell people that I owned the store. So even if they didn't know I was the owner, I'd still be screaming with glee that they loved {read with sarcasm} my store.

Well ... we all know I've given that up because I've decided to sell the store. Right?

Wrong.

I mean yes, I have decided to sell the store. But oh my word! was I an idiot in how I went about it. I was so arrogant and prideful.

And what? with 8{ish} people interested in the store before it was even 'live' with the broker ... didn't I have every right?

No. The answer is no.

Some downfalls? I thought it could sell for more than I was told {based purely on nothing more than my pride}. I wanted to be the one to talk to all interested parties, because I just knew the broker wouldn't do justice in talking about my store ... and I needed to make it absolutely clear what a bargain they would be getting and how lucky they would be to have my store.

I ended up making a couple of calls and I really talked up the store ... very arrogantly, and very pridefully.

And then guess what happened? Absolutely nothing.

No more interest. No more calls.

At the same time, I got sick and handed everything over to the broker. I didn't have a choice at that point. I didn't hear anything for a couple weeks, so gave him a call to find out what was going on.

"Nothing," he answered. "There's no interest right now."

I had a long talk with God. He showed me just what an idiot I'd been. First, so prideful. Second, so in control. I'd not really prayed about it at all. There was all this interest and I just knew it was going to sell ... no problem! No reason to pray about it. I had it all under control.

I was wrong. And I apologized ... big time! I told the Lord that I'm giving it to him. He can have it, I can't do it anymore.

And do you know what? The very next day, I got an email from someone who used to work at the store before I owned it. She stopped in the store {this is while I was at Mayo}, they told her the store was for sale and gave her my card to contact me. She said she was very interested.

I forwarded her note to my broker. He emailed back to say he had two very interested buyers as well.

I've got goosebumps just thinking about it. God is good. We just need to remember he's there to take it from us. To take care of us. He has a plan, and if we don't give him our situations, problems, questions ... our lives ... then he can't continue with his plan.

We need to learn to give it to Him. Everything. He is there to take our loads, our heavy burdens and carry them for us.

"Unload all your worries onto him, since he is looking after you." {I Peter 5:7 JB}

I'm reading an awesome book {thank you Marta} from Max Lucado called 'Traveling Light' releasing the burdens you were never intended to bear. It's amazing and I highly recommend it.

So ... I guess the moral of this story ... if there's something you're struggling with today, a burden too big for you to bear ... please don't be an idiot {like me} and don't waste another minute ... all you have to do is "give it to Him."

a day with my baby

2009-02-04T05:53:00.000-06:00

The past couple of weeks, I've been dragging Hunter on errands instead of finding something fun for us to do together. So yesterday, we took a trip to the Mitchell Park Domes. Fun! Warm! And pretty inexpensive!

Does anyone know how much my children love their nukies? I promise Hunter's the only one left with one, but I have to admit ... even now, when the older girls are having a hard time with something {crying or whining}, I so want to stick a nuk in their mouths!

In the photo above, Hunter 'stole' a nuk out of the diaper bag, and quickly turned around to look at the flowers ... all while covering her mouth to hide her nuk. I tend to be a little more lenient with the whole pacifying thing ... but daddy, not on board so much. So this hand-over-the-mouth maneuver is what she does when she hears dad coming.

I think it's kinda cute. I also think I want my baby to stay a baby a while longer. Is that so wrong? We just potty trained her and the nuk will be next to go ... I promise!

And I love this next photo. She was being such a fun 'subject' for me today! There were a series of photos I took where she's laying down on the bench with her head in her hands ... I had her nuk sitting at the front of the bench and told her she could have it if she let me take a few photos. She patiently posed while her nuk patiently waited.

Then she made a beeline for it!

Have I mentioned I'm a stroller freak? I actually posted about it once here. I don't know what I'll do when my baby outgrows her stroller. I don't think I could actually part with any of my strollers, so I may need to start borrowing babies?

This may be one of the last photos I take of one of my children in a stroller ... oh, but I hope not! {and yeah, if you look closely, she has two nukies}

And lastly, a little collage of our day. Hunter is a treasure to be with and she's so good! She patiently let me take photos ... she even did Me Ra's 'fake laugh' for me!

I love you baby ...

convo with a two year old

2009-02-03T19:06:00.003-06:00

So. I come out of my room in my pj's and the following conversation ensued:

two year old: I don't like those pajamas

me: Why?

two year old: Cuz I being sassy

i love jenna and her {j.} crew

2009-02-03T05:26:00.000-06:00

I want to come back in my next life as Jenna Lyons ... she's too cool and she has too much style. Not fair the Lord gave it all to one person! Check out her picks here.

new development ...

2009-02-02T21:05:00.002-06:00

I'm struggling a bit with posting this ... evident by the fact that I'm sitting here with only that written for the last five minutes and I don't know what else to write.

I have a new 'symptom' if you will. I don't want to be all dramatic about it, and it could possibly be nothing. I haven't said anything to anyone about it and hoped it would just go away.

But this morning, I mentioned it to Nellie ... she has a friend with MS, so I was asking her some questions trying to get more info on what kind of 'symptoms' MS patients have. And then I told her what I've been experiencing for the last week or so.

My hands just get really shaky, especially if I'm nervous or excited about something. She did a bit of research and found an article about MS related tremors.

I decided to contact my doctor about my latest development and she moved my appointment up 3 weeks and I'll be seeing her early this Thursday morning. She also contacted an MS specialist at Frodert and I'll be seeing them as well. She just really wants to make sure everything is okay.

The reason I'm struggling with posting this ... I don't want to seem all dramatic about it. It really could be nothing. I'm exhausted ... with a capital E!! Could have something to do with that, could just be too much caffeine.

Ultimately, I decided to post because I'd like to ask for prayer. Prayer for continued peace, prayer that the tremors are from too much caffeine, prayer that the Lord covers me with his healing power, prayer that my vision returns fully {and quickly while we're at it!}.

I'll keep you posted ...

so honored

2009-02-02T06:49:00.004-06:00

I am so super honored by this! In the world of paper, Erika, of delphine, is ... well ... she's the cat's meow! {did this statement make anyone chuckle?}

She's one of the designers I carry at the store and her stationery makes me swoon. Really.

So when she sent me a note this morning saying she thought my blog {http://broadwaypaper.blogspot.com} was fabulous, she really had me swooning.

Thank you Erika! I am seriously honored.

new magazine

2009-02-02T05:22:00.002-06:00

Have you heard of Serious.Life Magazine? It's a great inspirational magazine that I recently came into contact with. You should check it out ... it's even free! And there ain't too many freebies these days!

Their February issue was published today and my blog is in their Featured Blog Directory {cool, no?}. {page 115}

The mag has lots of great stuff from a few of my favorite bloggers. The content covers family, spiritual life, adoption, finance, humor ... just life in general.

It's owned and published by a family who have seven kids, three adopted and one who has Leukemia. Little Abby ... I've been praying for her. This is a strong family, with faith and humor seeing them through ... amazing!

daddy's home!

2009-02-01T06:44:00.003-06:00

I may have mentioned it once or twice, but I love my husband{!} and thought it was worth sharing again.

We miss him so much when he's gone. I never seem to quite realize how we function as a complete unit when he's here, and I always realize how much I take for granted when he's gone.

He was in Japan last week and it seems even harder when he's that far away. His waking hours are completely different than ours, so phone time is limited.

He sent some sweet texts on his way home that I wanted to share ...

7:55 pm - on plane and leaving now; love you call u when I get in

8:07 pm - good night lover ... see u soon

8:30 pm - do we have time for our dinner?

8:48 pm - plane an hour late leaving ...

9:15 pm - hope baby is creamed and soft!! {i feel this needs explanation ...}

9:32 pm - on plane now. late ...

I didn't get these until much later, but just thought his random stream of thoughts was so sweet. Okay, and let me explain ... he is a freak about our children! The baby's {see! he calls her a baby too!!} skin gets super dry in the winter and he freaks out about it. He's constantly slathering her down with lotion.

It's just one of the reasons I love him so much. Yeah, I get a bit irritated when he's here about some of his freaky, little quirks {or maybe the intenseness of them} ... but when he's gone, it causes me to step back and really appreciate him.

So he finally gets home and just like I predicted ... we smothered him!! And he loved every minute.

He brought all kinds of little goodies for the girls ... but when he busted out the purses and the little treasures to put inside of them ... I had to get out the camera. It just melted my heart that a man would get his girlies purses and think to buy treasures to put inside.

I love my husband. A lot.

And for any photogs that are reading ... I thought I'd share my camera settings and see if you had any thoughts?

So it's my new camera. I don't normally shoot with a flash if I don't have to, but this lighting was super low, and I just wasn't getting what I wanted. I decided to try my flash, but my camera wasn't reading it. :( Guess I need to do some studying up on that.

I was at 1250 ISO, f /2.8, and if you can believe {well, maybe you can from the blurriness} 1/5 shutter speed. The color version was even crazier, so I changed to black & white.

ever have 'one of those days?'

2009-01-30T22:01:00.002-06:00

Today was that day! In a great big ol' way ... it started off okay {sorry, not sure why I'm rhyme master at the moment}.

I dropped the kids off at school and stopped by the gas station to fill up. Took forever to authorize my card {excuse me, I'm standing in 10 degree weather, could we hurry it up a bit?}. Then tells me my card's been rejected.

Rejected? "Nah," I think and being the stubborn idiot I am, I try it again. You know, cuz the first time it didn't take long enough and because I rather enjoy the freezing cold weather.

Rejected again. Fine, I'll pay inside then. That took another 30 minutes to process ... good times! And then ... it wouldn't let me pick the type of gasoline I wanted. Humpf!

So I get back in the car and drive to the next pump. Same ol' routine happening at pump number two. I thought surely it was a pump number one 'thing' and pump number two definitely wouldn't reject my card. I was wrong ...

I take the rejection easier this time and go straight for the pay inside option. And this pump liked my gas choice and I'm in business.

I get inside the car to wait and notice the shirt I'm wearing is on backwards. It's a turtleneck {why do I feel like a dork admitting that?}, and it's got a seam line that runs down the center of the neck cowl. So the seam is in the front. I don't think it's too noticeable, and I'm quite lazy, so I leave it like that all day.

Gas is done and I'm on my way to work.

When I get to work, I try to clean myself up a little. I've got my jeans tucked in my Uggs {yeah, cuz I'm super cool like that ... just can't let a trend die}, but they're the knitted type and my jeans are all crazy in there cuz I was in a hurry leaving the house with 3 kids this morning, so I try and straighten them out best I can, but I'm feeling much like train wreck.

I go over and clue Nellie in on my train wreck situation and while I'm talking, I realize I have a hole in my sleeve. Does it get better?

Yeah.

Turns out someone's gotten a hold of my credit card number and has been doing a little spending. What the heck?

Let's see ... what else? Given my day, I was probably walking around with a hunk of cilantro {from the chili I brought in} in my teeth!

Fast forward a few hours.

We took the girls to a movie tonight {Hotel for Dogs ... loved it!}. Curt picked up the baby, while I picked up Piper and Wynter. Miss teenager had a dance to attend.

We met at the theater. Curt was in charge of snacks. He bought each of the girls their own slushie's. I usually buy them one small drink to share. I've been trying, trying, trying to relax a little with the rules, have more fun and not be such a task master.

I was not happy, but I didn't say a word. Slushie's? Mmmm, yummy, sure, no problem.

Hunter sat by Curt, so I wasn't keeping an eye on things. Turns out, she drank her whole slushie. How do I know? It came out at the end of the movie ... all over me! With a little popcorn in there too.

She threw up all over herself and me. Yuck. Curt took her into the bathroom to change, while I went to clean myself up. Hunter and I both end up going home shirtless {under our jackets}.

Good times this day of mine ... and I'm happy to say, "all good things must come to an end."

Nite-Nite ...

fun paper craft

2009-01-30T06:34:00.004-06:00

{via no biggie}

Oooooo, I totally want to make this. I'm putting it on my list for 'when the store sells ...'

randomness thursday

2009-01-29T06:22:00.003-06:00

I got a whole lotta randomness floatin' around my head this morning! First ... do you love this? Does it evoke anything in you? I love when a picture, or words speak to me. This old man, this old woman ... holding hands ... laughing. Will I have joy like this when I'm older? More importantly, will I have joy like this with the man I love?

And ooooo how I do love the man I love! He's been in Japan since last Friday. The girls miss him and I miss him. Isn't it funny {totally not haha funny}, how we miss them more and appreciate them more when they're gone?

I suppose the one good thing is that I get no computer time when he's gone! The reason that's good, is that I have a love | hate relationship with my computer. I love it to pieces ... but I hate that I love it so much!

Anyway, he gets home tonight and you better believe hugs and kisses will abound! The man gets smothered by his women when he walks in the door after being away. Hmmm, maybe that's why he leaves so frequently? We seem to pay no attention to him when he's around ... :)

Okay, and I also wanted to give you an 'eye update.' I had an appointment with my ophthalmologist on Tuesday. I thought I'd have to have my eyes dilated, but didn't need to ... thank you Lord! I have really come to hate having my eyes dilated! My mom went with to drive, but with her broken wrist and all, I drove there and then was able to drive back. And the bonus was some extra mommy | daughter time!

Okay so the update.

That man loves to talk about MS! Oh my word! I think if he were the only one treating me, he'd have me start a preventative care program. So, I'm pretty glad he's not the only one treating me!

He gave me lots of interesting information though, and I'm thankful for that. Seems with optic neuritis, some of the nerves in your eye die. So I'll go back in three months for a test to see just how many have died off. In patients with MS, those nerves continue to die. At a very slow and unnoticeable rate, but they die nonetheless.

So what we'll do is repeat that test periodically throughout my life {?} to see if MS is developing.

Otherwise everything is progressing nicely. My vision is slowly returning. I'd say I have about 90% of it back. It could take up to a couple more weeks or so. The {very limited} research I've done says it could take up to 6 months to be fully restored.

My doc says it'll never be the way it was. Even when it returns to 20/20, I'll always 'know' something is 'off' with my vision. Sigh ...

Oh! And a report from my neurologist ... she's going to have me do another MRI in 3 months. And I'll be seeing her in a few weeks from now. What I love about her is that she is way, super, overly cautious {she calls herself anal-retentive}, but she's not overly diagnostic. And while she is happy with the Mayo report, she doesn't want to ignore the MRI's that were done here {Mayo didn't look at them}, and she doesn't want to ignore the fact that I have decreased sensation in my left side.

And while she is sure there is nothing to be concerned about {and I am at total peace with that}, she doesn't want to wait 12 months {Mayo's recommendation} to have me seen again. I guess I'm in her court ... I'd definitely rather be overly cautious!

My chipmunk cheeks are finally getting back to normal! Woo-hoo! And the steroids have left my body and I'm feeling close to myself again!

Other randomness includes the fact that yesterday was my first day back at work in a few weeks. I get this mixed bag while being there. I love it, love what I created ... and at the same time ... I so want to be done!

To that end ... we have someone who {we've been told} is putting together an offer. YAY! Right? And there are two other people who have expressed serious interest. So if this offer falls through, the broker feels confident the others {or maybe they would anyways} will be putting offers together. We'll see.

I took forever for me to 'give' this situation to God. When I finally did ... three very interested candidates show up. God is good ... all the time!

Well ... I gotta get my bootie off this computer ... we are going to be way late this morning!

sick piper

2009-01-26T13:33:00.002-06:00

I'm home from work today with Piper. She's got strep. And a sweet tooth. And a new ladybug friend ... honest.

She was in bad shape by time I got home from the lake yesterday. You know how you can just hear the pain when they're trying to talk? She even begged me to put Vicks on her feet before bed. Lady with a sick kid at home say what? Crazy, I know! I got some kind of email forward that talks about putting Vicks on the bottom of your feet and then putting your socks on before bed ... that it helps tame a nighttime cough.

With all the coughing children under my roof ... I'd be crazy not to try it! And ... go ahead and call me crazy, but I'm going with ... it works!

And while googling 'Vicks' ... I found this. You be the judge.

Anyway.

So ... I started writing this post at 1:30 this afternoon and now it's 7:45 pm and I'm sitting at Starbucks waiting for Taylor to be done with her 'modeling' thing. I'm tired. Tired, tired. Like when I just went into the restroom, I didn't recognize the bags looking back at me in the mirror.

Alright, alright ... I recognized them ... just totally didn't want to be the owner of them. And the bland decaf coffee I'm drinking isn't helping any. But I did just splurge on an awesome krispy treat and that was yummy!!

Splurge? Yeah, I started Nutrisystem again today. I have some of their food hanging around for times when I've been splurgin' a bit too much. Now is one of those times. I did a whole lotta splurgin' this weekend {ohmyword!} ... and on top of all the eating this weekend, I've gained a bit of weight with the steroids I was recently taking. And by a bit of weight, I mean about 15 pounds. Yikes, did I just admit that?

Anyway.

I had fun with Piper today. She started out p-r-e-t-t-y sick! But by lunch time she was a little more herself again. She found a rogue ladybug and decided to build a habitat for it. She gave it lettuce, a strawberry and an apple slice, along with a few drops of water. We ate lunch with it. Watched a movie with it. Bonded with it. Only in my house would we spend a sick day with a ladybug.

I always enjoy spending one-on-one time with each of the girls. Time without their sisters seem to bring out some of the uniqueness in each of them.

Alrighty, my WiFi time at Starbucks is coming to a close {two hour max, what is that?!?} and I still have to tell you about this very awesome move of mine before I'm shut down.

So I'm picking Hunter up at daycare this afternoon and I see one of her old teachers down the hall. Oh! She's pregnant! Very clearly pregnant. We say our hello's as I pass, and I say, "congratulations."

She says, "for what?"

I. am. an. idiot!

I never, ever, never, ever, never, ever, never tell someone congrats, or 'oh you're pregnant' or anything even remotely close to that, unless I know for a fact they are indeed with child!

i.d.i.o.t!

And seriously Starbucks? Two hours? And it's not even free anymore ... humpf ...

a weekend with friends

2009-01-25T21:03:00.005-06:00

This is has been my view all weekend. Peaceful, no? Even though we were in the midst of a deep freeze ... I'm talking 20 below zero ... before the windchill!

I'm blessed to have access to a beautiful place in northern wisconsin where I holed up with my girlfriends for a much needed girly-girl weekend. Our husbands absolutely did. not. understand what we were doing. What could we possibly be doing?

Did you go outside? Did you snowmobile? Go for a walk? What then? What did you do?

"You talked?" "About what?"

Men don't understand, do they?

We were literally in our jammies the entire weekend. We joked that we played musical chairs ... we moved from this chair, to that chair, to the sofa, to the chair ... and we listened to music.

We played games, we read, we facebooked, we talked ... about every topic under the sun {I'll spare you the details}. Isn't it awesome to have a group of ladies you can go away with, and feel complete peace with? We didn't need to do anything. We didn't want to do anything.

Oh! Wait! I failed to mention ... we ate. We ate, and we ate, and we ate ... and none of us will need to eat for a week. Honest.

I am blessed to have these ladies in my life. Thank you friends.

And, as always ... as great as it is to get away, it's even greater to return. I am so in love with my family. With us being at Mayo, I hadn't seen the girls since Tuesday night. Is it not the greatest feeling in the world to feel the love of a child who hasn't seen you in almost a week?

Pure excitement. Little arms wrapped tightly around your legs ... coming at me from every direction. Even Taylor came running when she saw me, "mommy!" ... can I ask for anything more from a thirteen year old? Sigh.

As I was sitting with the girls tonight watching TV before bed, I studied each of them and wanted to record each memory. Every single detail ...

Wynter needed my scarf the minute I walked in the door ... she wrapped it around her neck like she was the Red Barron and added a matching headband to complete her ensemble. She's such a tactile little creature ... she's loving, touching, squeezing, smelling. Yeah ... she smells me.

Piper has strep right now ... she's such a sick little girl. So she's laying on me, all stuffed up which means she needs to breath out of her mouth ... that really awesome infectious-dragon-breath-that-only-a-mother-could-love smell ...

And then little Hunter ... who's somehow grown up so fast. She's potty trained now. I didn't want to potty train her. Not because I didn't want to do the work. But because I want her to be a baby ... forever ... and ever. Is that wrong? Anyway. She sees Piper laying with me, so she comes over and tries to squeeze in too. My 'baby' in her silky, summer pajama dress {that she insisted on wearing} with red polka dotted Christmas pj bottoms and her sister's hand-me-down pink Uggs, that she thinks are slippers.

And then of course there's miss teenager. I love her so. Every complicated, moody, emotional, temperamental, sulky ounce of her. We just finished watching The Bachelor {gotta love DVR} and as we're sitting there I'm realizing just how quickly this little girl has grown up ... and even better ... just how cool she really is.

I am blessed.

charlie's angels?

2009-01-25T08:15:00.001-06:00

national wear red day

2009-01-23T04:53:00.001-06:00

Wanna spread awareness? Join me on Friday, February 6 ... and pull out your finest red attire!

The American Heart Association is hosting a 'Go Red For Women' day to help support ongoing research and education about women and heart disease.

Spread the news ... and check out the shop for some cute 'red' items {proceeds go to the American Heart Association}.

and she's down ...

2009-01-22T15:42:00.009-06:00

Ever pass out while getting an IV? I can now add it to my list of accomplishments!

Miss new nurse is searching around for a good vein {needle is inside of my arm, mind you}, when I start feeling lightheaded and dizzy ... last thing I remember is spotting a bottle of cleaning product from JohnsonDiversey and thinking how 'funny' it was to see it sitting there.

Next thing I know, legs in the air ... cold pack on my forehead and veteran nurse volunteers to take over ... ya think?

I had an MRI ordered this morning of my brain and spine, and needed an IV for that. Yuck!

Just met with the specialist and basically everything looks good! Without any clear brain lesions, she feels its {MS} really is just a waiting 'thing' to see if any symptoms present themselves again. She also ordered additional blood work to rule out some other things that could develop, and assuming all is okay there ... then I'm good to go!

One final stop with my doc, who just read the MRI results and all is absolutely clear. Praise God!!

I'll continue to have follow up MRI's and just trust the Lord has it in his hands!

too funny

2009-01-22T14:05:00.000-06:00

I just got an email featuring some Valentine's Day cards from one of the designers I carry at the store and thought this particular card was a little too coincidental!

I think I'm gonna get it ...

{new} old navy

2009-01-22T06:49:00.000-06:00

Have y'all visited Old Navy recently? I don't get in there often ... but oooo, I made a killing the other day while running errands with little Huntie!

Are these not some of the cutest things ever?

For you ladies joining me at the lake this weekend ... you definitely won't spot me in a certain {grey & white} cardi!

And you definitely won't see Hunter in any of this awesome cuteness! On the other hand ... if you do spot her in any of these clothes ... they definitely won't be a size 4T! :(

update from mayo

2009-01-21T14:32:00.003-06:00

Howdy! I'm back in the hotel room between appointments and thought I'd post a quick update.

Just routine stuff today and a meeting with my doctor up here, who I love! Only thing that came back odd so far is my white blood cell counts are highly elevated. Could mean an infection somewhere, or just a reaction to the steroids.

She can hear the trouble I'm having in my lungs, breathing and talking ... so ordered a chest xray. I won't have those results for a while, but my lungs sounded clear in the exam so she was encouraged by that. This is all a result of the steroid effect.

And the bad news there, is that I'm on my 'taper off' starting today and should've been done taking them tomorrow. But she thinks that's way too rapid a taper and my body could go into further shock and not work on producing it's own steroid. So it seems the bad news is I may be on the oral dose a while longer.

Anyway.

I have an appointment soon with an ophthalmologist and will be done for the day. Tomorrow I have a followup appointment with my doc and then the appointment with the MS specialist early afternoon.

Any good news here? You bet! I'm super excited to be heading to the lake tomorrow afternoon when we leave here for some much needed 'girlfriend' time!

christmas vacation photos

2009-01-21T06:04:00.002-06:00

I've been working on sorting through and editing the way-too many photos I've taken on recent vacations. I started with a relatively easy one ... our Christmas vacation in Mexico.

There are still over 200 some photos, but I started with 900ish ... so believe me, although it may not seem like it as you're sifting through them ... hopefully I've spared you big yawns at the expense of my self-indulgence!

Enjoy!

we christen thee ... starfish beach

2009-01-20T06:20:00.005-06:00

We found the mother lode! Is this not a perfect picture of two little girls that spend every waking hour exploring?

Starfish, lizard training, moth catching ... oh my!

We had a great time. Great ... doesn't even describe it really. Peaceful, relaxing, soul-filling joy ... that's a little better.

I have good news! The vision in my left eye is slowly starting to return! Praise God! I still have a 'black band' of vision that's gone. Only way I can describe it, is there's a single line of black vision that I don't have. Much like if your sunglasses were constantly dirty. But the vision around that 'line' is starting to get clearer. It's not as fuzzy as it used to be and clearer than it has been in a couple of weeks.

I'm still trying to get my strength back. Again, much stronger than I've been in a week ... but oh my word the kids thought there was something seriously wrong with me after I was chasing them on the beach yesterday ... mama gettin' old! My voice isn't back to normal quite yet and I'm having an awful time sleeping. But only 4 more days of the oral steroid left to go ... yay!

I'm spending the day with Hunter today and then Curt and I leave tonight for Mayo {with is his mom :)}. Will keep you posted as I find anything out.

Wishing you today's most awesomest blessings!

Oh! And in case any of you saw my recent 'tweet' ... the baby was up around 3 this morning, Curt came in to take over so I crawled back into bed but was up around 5:30. I came out and saw the family room TV was on {Max & Ruby, so knew it was Hunter} and went to take a peek, but she wasn't there. I figured she was up with Curt in his office, so I came to my office.

He came by a bit later and looked toward my sofa for the baby. I said I didn't have her. He didn't have her either. Hmmmm ... how do you lose a baby?

We go looking for her ... it's 5:30 a.m. mind you ... found out she had gone into the big girls room and crawled into bed with Piper and woke her up. Then she crawled into bed with Wynter and woke her up.

We're talking steep bunkbed ladders folks ... there's a reason she's still sleeping in her crib!

Curt finally found her with her body half-way out of a large stuffed animal basket. Sigh ...

Huntie is one sick baby, poor thing's been fighting this for the last couple of days ... I'm taking her into the doc this morning, hopefully for some good meds to cure what ails her. The girls are all comfortably snuggled in watching Tinkerbell right now.

I do. not. want. to get this day started ... E-X-U-M-A where are you??!??!!!

thoughts on raising children

2009-01-19T05:37:00.003-06:00

I've talked about some of my recent struggles in trying to stay mindful of my children's lives and the effects my 'busyness' has on them.

I'll try to spare you a book here ...

But this is a sign we have near the house in Exuma. I passed it the other day and thought, "Wow, this is a pretty deep message." I realize I'm in this frame of mind right now, but think about it for a minute.

Ten miles per hour ... kids crossing. Am I crazy in my *deep* thoughts? Or can you feel me? If I can stop and remember this message frequently during the day, I think it'd do me good. I get so busy with "not right now" and "in just a minute" or "I'll be right there."

This weekend has been so refreshing to me ... I've felt mindful and present like I haven't in a long time in my girls lives.

As for the message I've typed in next to the photo ... I'm reading a book by E.D Hill called, "I'm Not Your Friend, I'm Your Parent." {a gift from my mom ... thanks mom, I am actually reading it}.

And last night as I read the quote from Jackie Kennedy, it just really came together for me. Not that it hasn't before, mind you ... but for some reason, I need to continually be hit over the head for things to sink in ... I. am. a. slow. l-e-a-r-n-e-r!

Anyway.

I read the quote and thought of the photo and thought I'd put it all together for you to put into your own relevant bag of parenting tricks.

lizard training

2009-01-18T18:55:00.002-06:00

I wasn't lying.

another day of photos ...

2009-01-18T07:59:00.020-06:00

We're having a great time. Just what the doctor ordered ... I only wish we could stay forever.

Yesterday we took the boat over to a windless cove and spent a few hours playing in the water and sand.

Here are the girls on the way to the boat.

On the boat.

Piper ...

I love a good foot shot! I only wish I had gotten the great shriveled up raisin feet shot on the way back ... couldn't, as I was holding a sleeping baby.

The girls start exploring immediately.

I tried to have the girls do the classic Me Ra 'fake laugh' that I recently learned ... I think we need more practice.

Piper exploring the water.

Wynter checking things out.

Hunter in her giant sand swimming pool {a dad standard on the beach scene}.

There's something about seeing jewelry on one of my girls, that makes me feel like they are growing up so fast. Piper got this bracelet in Mexico and hasn't taken it off since.

And of course, the nap of the century.

Then some awesome lizard catching and training all afternoon. Seriously.

The girls relaxing with their lizards and a freshly cut coconut snack.

The lizard seriously just hangs out.

An early morning walk with Hunter this morning. The sun is finally out and we're going to head over to the beach again.

Trying to get a little sun flare ...

And this shot {sort of} reminds me of the 'breathing space' photos that Oprah features in O. This is my ultimate breathing space.

Photographer friends ... I need some help! First off, you know the exposure compensation scale inside the view finder? Because of my bum-eye, I can't see it clearly ... so have been struggling with exposure. Still happy to say that I haven't moved off manual though ... I'm stubborn! :)

I'm using my old lens, which is the 'workhorse' as Me Ra calls it. It's a Canon 24-70mm, 2.8, L series.

Okay, and the problem I'm having is ... I can't get my lens to stay focused on something, and then allow me to shift my camera to reframe. Help! It won't stay locked in for me. There's also another setting {but someone did it for me on my old camera, so I don't know how to do it}, where I can use the little black scroller to change my focus points.

Thoughts anyone?

Alrighty then ... I'm logging off and heading to the beach. Happy Sunday everyone!

as good as it gets ...

2009-01-17T12:29:00.001-06:00

why are kids obsessed with nipples?

2009-01-17T06:58:00.003-06:00

Yeah, you read that right. I thought it was time I lightened things up here ... and frankly, that question's been on my mind!

So we're in a private house here, which means ... for lack of any other words ... we're 'hanging loose.' I have this magnet that I love that says, {something like} "my favorite bra is a big comfy sweatshirt." Amen, sisters?

So last night I'm holding Hunter and she's obsessed with my nipples. And they love to say the word nipples, too, don't they? And you try to play it all casual-no-big-deal-i'm-in-tune-with-my-body-and-daughter-saying-nipples ... but why does she have to touch them too?

Then there was the other morning.

Let me say, I've gained 10 pounds ... yes, ten pounds in a week from these steroids. The other night my stomach was stretched beyond my comfort zone. Honestly, the steroids have distended it.

Remember ladies, those beautifully stretched-out pregnant belly buttons? Not so fun when you're not pregnant.

And here's my point. So the other morning ...

Wynter and Piper are sitting in my bathroom as I'm getting ready to get into the shower. So yeah ... they see me in all my glory. And yeah ... they're looking at all my glory.

When Wynter asks, "Mom, do you have 3 nipples?"

Yeah ... it's like that.

my day in photos ...

2009-01-16T19:09:00.012-06:00

I'm usually a pretty early riser, but these days I have been majorly sleeping in! 7ish is luxury at it's finest for me! This morning though, I had much to get done in order to leave the house by 8:30 with 3 kids in tow for vacation. {Taylor's dad is home this weekend, so she stayed with him}.

Anyway. I thought I'd get a head start on things and was proud to wake at 6:00!

As I started to sneak past the baby's room, I saw she was already awake, which was odd. But dad must have it handled, so I crept into my office to get some things done.

A few minutes later, she comes toddling in ... alone. Didn't expect that. Oooo, but I love to cuddle her up, so took full advantage! After a bit, she's getting antsy and ends up on my desk coloring at the 'color station.' All three of the girls {and sometimes Taylor}, love to draw on the erase board and play back there.

Then it was a mad-dash off to the airport for our three{plus} hour flight to Exuma. The weather isn't hot and sunny. It's cloudy, windy, humid, and absolutely wonderful.

I don't know what it is, but for me ... time just stops when I'm here. I absolutely felt my soul being soothed as we left the airplane.

When we got to the house, Hunter and I laid down for a nap ... ahhhhhh ...

{OH! P.S. folks ... I took the camera out of the box!!} I absolutely love it. Amazing. Wow. How did I take photos without it? My bum-eye is still getting the best of me, but I'm trying not to get too frustrated by it.}

So this is Huntie when we woke from our nap ...

And this is Piper letting me play with my camera.

And this is Hunter looking for the sun. {Don't you love potty-training undies?}

And this is Hunter with Lion {and attitude}.

And this is Wynter with all her dolls. Piper and Wynter have spent the last three days straight playing 'dollie' ... I can not believe how obsessed they are with it.

And this is a pre-dinner walk to the dock.

And the girls digging a clam shell out of the water.

And a view of the vast amount of water surrounding us. Water that holds peace for me ... sigh ...

Hunter with something to say.

A dad who loves to explore with his girls.

And finally ... the evening comes to an end with game night.

Time to get some kiddo's to bed {yeah, by that I mean I'm hitting the hay early}!

Nite-nite ...

outdoor showers ...

2009-01-16T06:25:00.004-06:00

Here we come!

Diaper wipes, check! More than two shirts for baby, check! Sunscreen, check! New camera, check! Swimsuits, check!

Vision, check! It's still low light out, but I'm pretty sure I have a tad bit of my vision back! :)

Praise God!

peace

2009-01-15T20:58:00.006-06:00

I feel peaceful. I have this sudden calm. Weird to explain.

Maybe it's the new blog design? :) {yes, google readers ... head on over to my actual site!}

Seriously though.

I mentioned here, that I had a new motto in the works. Only I wasn't quite ready to deliver it yet {and had still been writing the post in my head}, especially since the original intent of the post has since been changed a bit. Right?

But, I was up next in line {yes, I was on the longest waiting list ever to get my blog redesigned ... felt that way at least} and ba-da-boom ... I went out tonight and came back to a new blog design. Do you like it? :)

I got to thinking a few months ago ... I really shouldn't go around saying, "I'm stressed, but blessed." Like my 'blessings' were an afterthought.

I need to live a life that is "too blessed to be stressed." I love that. I want to live that. And I shall.

That is why I'm selling the store. That is why I'm going back to basics {someone just needs to take my computer from me to help out with that please!}. That is why I'm getting in deep with my family, and God. I can't wait ...

Back to peaceful ... stay with me. I had a bit of a weird night. I got my schedule wrong {what's new?} and screwed up the date we were supposed to go to Taylor's modeling thing. She had one this past Monday, and then one tonight. Wrong. It wasn't tonight. It's next Thursday.

I am a fighter. I don't admit I need help {not proud of this, and Brigitte, you are breaking me down!}. I'm stubborn. And I get myself into trouble.

When I took Taylor on Monday, it was a snowy, snowy night. I'm working on one eye. Bad night vision in the good eye. And no contrast vision. Night ... dark ... snow ... barely breathing ... well, you get the idea. But I absolutely wouldn't let Curt drive me. Why? Who knows ... I'm retarded I guess.

I got myself into such a white-knuckled mess on Monday, that tonight ... which is also our standard Thursday night, date night ... I ask, "How about you drive us ... and then you and I can go to a long dinner at the Melting Pot?" Taylor's sessions are 3 hours long, and I ended up sitting on a cold, hard bench at Chipotle on Monday night. Sitting in front of a fondue pot of cheese and chocolate sounds much more appealing, you think?

Curt agrees. We get a sitter and out the 3 of us go. Curt is not the best driver. We often get car sick. Taylor is complaining. I'm doing my best to not complain aloud, but all the signs are there. Tension is high.

Close to an hour later, we finally arrive only to find out, she's not scheduled tonight. What to do? What to do?

Turns out ... Curt, Taylor and I went to dinner. It was so nice. This may seem like nothing special, but last night ... Taylor and I were in counseling to talk about certain matters between Curt and Taylor.

They just do not get along. Maybe cuz their both Taurus's? Maybe cuz they both vie for my attention? Maybe cuz they're both pre-teen? Oops ... I mean ... :)

So who would've thought that there we are, just the three of us having dinner and conversation and no one was picking on each other? It was peaceful.

The drive home ... Taylor gave in and let me listen to 'my music' {Christian music}. And as I'm deep in thought, Taylor is singing the words to the most beautiful lyrics. It was peaceful.

When we got home, the girls were all just going to bed. I went in and finished putting the baby to sleep. She wouldn't stay down. I was back and forth between her nursery and the other girls room.

As I finally give in and go sit with her to rock her, and I'm holding this precious bundle of a baby ... she's pretending to rest on me, then ever so slightly turns her body to rest a different way, then turns again so she's sitting next to me, then she carefully opens her book {yes, she had a book in hand ... she's the baby, she gets what she wants}, she's playing all nonchalant, then slowly tries to see if I'm noticing what she's doing.

I'm smiling at her. So precious. So innocent. I ask her if she's going to read. She's so happy I think she's going to burst as she says through her nukie filled mouth, "yeeess!"

I'm thinking of a teenager sitting in the other room waiting for me to watch her latest accomplishments on Guitar Hero and two other girls that need me to pray. My usual MO is to be rushed, stressed, hurried ... but it was peaceful.

I went out to watch Taylor jam like no other {yeah, that was a really queer sentence!} and it was peaceful.

I had this big load of info thrown at me today ... but I am at peace.

and the doctor says ...

2009-01-15T15:17:00.002-06:00

We just got back from the appointment with my neurologist. We were feeling very relieved, as she thinks the 'ditzel' on my MRI is just that ... a ditzel {definition for ditzel anyone?}. And that the optic neuritis is an isolated case for now.

Given everything, I should have another MRI {with contrast} done, but with all the steroids they've just pumped into me ... my insides are basically sterile {good thing I'm not in the baby market!} and any living infection, cell, matter, dust bunny, or hearsay has been killed.

She went over the scans with us ... we felt great with her recommendation and agreed to have another MRI done in about threeish months when the steroids are out of my system.

Speaking of the steroids ... she can not believe I wasn't admitted to the hospital given my reactions. Really?!? Cuz I was screaming out for help here. I have no other way to describe what happened than that my insides were absolutely rotted out.

I've gotten some strength back in my voice and now the only way I can describe what is happening, is that I'm now coughing up all of the stuff that was killed off inside me. I am feeling better and a bit stronger, and that is great news!! I should continue on this path.

As for my vision, it hasn't come back yet. The ophthalmologist said it could take 2-4 more weeks for vision recovery. Curt was freaked out looking at one of my vision tests and seeing {little pun there ...} how I absolutely can't see out of my left eye.

Funny what you take for granted ...

Okay, back to my appointment today. So we're all set to walk away and schedule another MRI and go from there. No worries.

'Til she does an examine. I was scared. First she had me do a simple 'touch your finger to your nose' test. I felt my hesitancy. I made it ... but it was slow. She had me do it again. No problems on the right side. The left, painfully uncoordinated.

Then she had me put my forefingers and thumbs together {each hand separately, form a circle} and tap them in rapid succession. My left was much slower than my right.

Then she took a stick and poked me. Right side? "Ouch" Left side? Barely feel it.

So she's done and sits across from me. "I'm really concerned," she says.

Curt and I are headed to Mayo next week for routine physicals. Timing, huh? Anyway, she knew we were headed up there and that we had planned to have a neurologist look at my scans to give us another opinion. She thought it was a great idea, as second opinions are always good to have ... but now she's very interested ... and concerned.

Did I mention, she's a pillar-of-strength, every-thing's-okay, don't-be-overly-worried, no-need-to-freak-out-unless-I-freak-out kind of doctor?

And now she's concerned ...

She wants me to see a neurologist that specializes in MS.

And that's where I'm at right now. As you know, I pretty much dig typing on this blog ... so I'll be sure to keep you updated when I find out more information.

Right now, I'm off to finish packing up some kids for a vaca down south ... must remember baby wipes!

And Traci? Big kick out of your comment! You understand don't you? If that thing is still in the box ... you know I'm sick! :)

our beloved ariel

2009-01-15T07:44:00.005-06:00

Ariel was the first dog we got together ... we did all kinds of research on the perfect dog. I was struggling to be a 'dog person' and thought we couldn't go wrong with Ariel ... and basically we didn't.

She tends to get sick, have ear infections, and smells ... but she really is the best dog ever!

Curt recently found the book we bought when researching Newfoundlands and was showing it to Piper this morning explaining all about the breed and what they are trained to do, etc. One of the things they are bred for are rescue swimming and it reminded me to dig out this movie ...

This is up at the lake a couple of summers ago ... enjoy!

who took the cookie ...

2009-01-14T14:40:00.004-06:00

From the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

Thanks mom and dad for the yummy cookie bouquet ... one of my weaknesses! Please no more cookies though ... I've got the roundest, most swollen face from these steroids. My eyes feel like little slits and I don't think cookies are helping my look!

One good thing ... with my skin stretching out, my complexion looks fabulous! If I do say so myself ... :)

And one last exciting bit of news ... my new camera finally arrived. It was a late Christmas present from hubby! Can't wait for my bum-eye to get better so I can dive into it.

I. can. not. believe it's still in the box. :(

yet another update ...

2009-01-13T19:46:00.002-06:00

I haven't posted a photo in a while, and text can get awfully boring!! This pic is from our spring break last March in Exuma. Taylor often 'complains' the little girls don't like her, and I love using this photo as proof, that when she is nice to them ... they love her tons!

The girls have off of school next Monday, so we're leaving this weekend for Exuma, and I absolutely can't wait!

Okay ... now for an update. I can't see the screen very well, as my eyes are still a tad dilated. And Taylor's waiting to watch a movie with me. Well ... actually, I'm waiting for her to get out of the shower so we can watch a movie ... and decided to try to post a quick update.

I am not feeling any better in terms of the weakness, breathing, talking difficulties. Yuck! And thanks to research-extraordinaire, Tiffany ... I got some scary news on the side effects I've been having. Seems my side effects fall under 'severe' and 'seek medical attention right away.'

The latest that happened today is a very tender scalp with sores on it. Hurts to brush it and blah, blah, blah.

I did call my doctor, but he wasn't too concerned and said the steroids just really did a number and they should run their course out of my system. Whatev's ...

I had the appointment with my ophthalmologist this afternoon. He was awesome and Curt is impressed with his thoroughness as well.

Okay, so I have optic neuritis. As I mentioned, one of the causes can be MS. That's more likely if there is a lesion present on the brain. We initially didn't think there was, but now have found a 'small white matter' on the brain. With the migraines I've been having, I had an MRI done in September and that 'matter' wasn't there for that scan.

Back to the steroids ... I have to take an oral dose over the next nine days. Given the side effects I'm experiencing, I could opt not to take the full dose. But given my risk of MS, he thinks I should finished the planned treatment. Um, yeah ... give me the script!

Plus, you figure 1000mg daily ... injected. VS. 60mg daily ... orally. I should be seeing some relief soon, right?

Tonight at my appointment, there was an awful lot of talk of MS and options, and meds and preventative meds and options, and injections, and ... my head is sort of spinning.

I have an appointment with my neurologist on Thursday ... and we'll figure out where to go from here. I have complete faith in her {not to mention the Lord who put her in my path!}.

I was resting my head tonight as Curt was driving me home from my appointment ... thinking, swirling, reeling from all the information we just absorbed. Freaking out a little? Yeah ...

When one of my favorite songs came on, 'Everlasting God' from Chris Tomlin:

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord

We will wait upon the Lord

Our God, You reign forever

Our hope, our Strong Deliverer

You are the everlasting God

The everlasting God

You do not faint

You won't grow weary

Our God, You reign forever

Our hope, our Strong Deliverer

You are the everlasting God

The everlasting God

You do not faint

You won't grow weary

You're the defender of the weak

You comfort those in need

You lift us up on wings like eagles

checking in ...

2009-01-12T13:45:00.003-06:00

Blaaaaaah ...

That pretty much sums it up for me. I'm out of bed quickly to check in on things and then going to rest again. I'm okay, just completely wiped.

I've been feeling 'funny' since Friday. Just this wheeziness in my chest and lungs ... pretty much figured it was the steroid taking affect. Saturday I mentioned it to the nurse when I went in for my treatment. She couldn't reach my doctor at all, and I said it was fine seeing as I had only two treatments left.

Saturday afternoon, I was with Taylor all day and we ended up being longer than we thought. Got home just in time to run the girls to a birthday party. It was great seeing my friends and catching up, but it really took a toll on me.

It's hard to explain, but I just felt weak, like I couldn't breathe, or talk ... anyway ... I called Curt from the car on the way home and told him I needed him to 'take over' when I got home. I crawled into bed and went to sleep.

By Sunday, I was feeling even worse. I went in early for my treatment and was asked by the nurse if my heart rate is always so low. "No, not that I know of," I replied. Never asking how low it was.

The nurse hooked up the treatment and came back a bit later saying she'd read my chart about the funny chest/lung problems. She said my heart rate was pretty low and my blood pressure was high, and that I should go to prompt care for an EKG. I wasn't so sure I wanted to do that, because I was anxious to get to church. Curt had brought the girls there and they were waiting for me.

I finally gave in, and decided to go to prompt care. The burning in my chest gave way to anything else I had going on. Turns out prompt care was closed, so I went over to the emergency room. I was in the hospital complex for the IV treatments anyway, so it wasn't far.

They did the EKG, my heart rate was about 40. I'm not sure what my blood pressure came back as, I never asked. They did some blood work. Something came back funny from that, so I needed a CT scan. Was dehydrated, so needed more IV treatments {thank goodness no steroid in that one}.

Finally, all came back okay and I was released. Thank you Trishie and Craig for keeping me company. And thank you Curtis for taking such good care of our girls.

I basically crawled back home and into bed. I can't really describe the feeling, other than I felt sort of 'dead.' Too weak to do anything. It hurt to breathe or get a full extension of breath. I just sort of laid there.

I'm home again today and in bed. I just feel so weak. And I promise I'm not complaining!! I still can't imagine what our brave chemo patients go through, or some of the other terrible things people close to me are facing. This is just how I feel.

I'm done with the IV steroids and am taking an oral one for a couple of weeks. I have an appointment with the ophthalmologist tomorrow afternoon and hope to find out more about my eye. The pain is relatively gone {thank you God!}, but still no improvement in my vision.

Thank you ... a million times, for your prayers, thoughts, notes and calls ... I am blessed.

i'm a two!

2009-01-11T06:23:00.000-06:00

up early

2009-01-11T05:33:00.002-06:00

One more day of steroids!! It's really starting to take a toll on my system. I feel like I've run a marathon {or at least how I feel after I've run a mile outside in the cold} ... my lungs just can't seem to get enough air and burn when I breathe.

I couldn't sleep well last night and was up early. Big ol' bags under my eyes as proof ... really pretty!

The awesomely, good news is ... my fireplace is working and I love it. I have a sofa in front of it, and sit there in the morning saying my prayers. This morning, being 4 am and all, I had nothing better to do and thought I'd take a photo to share with y'all.

Downside? Poppin' 4 am fire not conducive to sleeping baby {that'd be Hunter for those of you wondering who the 'baby' is} right next door in the nursery!

a model meeting

2009-01-10T16:30:00.000-06:00

You may remember I mentioned a few months ago that we had some photos taken of Taylor to pursue a modeling career? Well, we finally had a comp card put together and got letters out to different agencies in Chicago about a month or so ago.

Taylor's gotten a couple letters back from the agencies that have so far expressed no interest. So we called John Casablanca Agency in Brookfield. They 'happen' to be in the process of searching for new faces and had us come in today.

There were 15ish other aspiring models and actors of different ages milling about in the small room. They all had to fill out some forms, do a little strut on the catwalk {Taylor almost threw up!}, and then would be rated an A, B, or C.

A. You have all the skills, experience and tools needed to start booking jobs right away.

B. You have the look they are interested in, but would like you to take some of their classes to get you fully prepared to book a job.

C. No interest.

Taylor was a B++ ... it totally helped that we had her comp card. The director of the agency also happened to be in today and saw Taylor in the hallway and inquired about her and told our facilitator that she was interested in her. Yay Tay!!

They put Taylor into the 'Select Female Model' group, which means she's in an advanced group and only has to take half the required classes {because they feel she'll be ready to go in less time than the other girls}. And the director will be talking to us about possibly booking jobs before Taylor's training is complete ... we'll see about that.

Taylor is beyond excited! Stay tuned ...

gross?

2009-01-10T07:07:00.001-06:00

This could be what's bringing me down, ya think? Two more steroid treatments to go and I get this out tomorrow morning .... can't wait!

{tried to spare you complete grossness by prettying it up with a new border!}

struggling ...

2009-01-09T17:02:00.003-06:00

But I won't let it get me down.

I love the verse I posted earlier. I saw it on a blog yesterday, and glommed onto it as my own! I had just posted it, when I get an email from a friend with that exact same verse!!!

Okay ... Nellie, I hope you don't mind me calling you out here, but in order to explain the story fully, I kinda need to ...

So Nellie came into my office today to go over some work and asked how I was doing. Wrong question. I'm having a down day. Just getting discouraged.

My vision isn't any better and it's wearing on me. I have about 10% vision in my left eye {I know I've said this before} and the vision I do have is blurred. The fortunate thing is that I'm not getting headaches from it!

The pain level is definitely down. About a four on that whole pain scale {who made that up anyway}. A four says 'moderate pain,' but has the little bald guy sorta smiling. Really?

I feel extreme pain when I look severely in any direction with my eyes only. So I'm starting to compensate when I look in any certain direction.

Anyway, so today it's just got me kind of down. I'm wondering when I'll get my vision back and am starting to worry about surgery, or whatever. I don't have any clear answers right now, and won't until my appointment with the specialist on Tuesday afternoon.

So bad timing Nellie. Or is it? All I know is ... God works in wondrous ways! I'm doing my very, very best not to fall under my situation. I am trying to be a pillar of strength here. And love the bible verse I posted to help me remember that.

So Nellie leaves my office after listening to my bit about being discouraged. In the meantime, I posted the bible verse {for myself to remember}. A few minutes later, Nellie sends me an email that starts out with that very same bible verse!!!

I didn't even read the rest of the note. I walked over to her desk and asked, "Are you kidding me?" I asked if she'd read my blog post, and of course she hadn't. I explained it was the exact same verse. We cooled our goosebumps and I went back to my desk and finished the rest of her very sweet and encouraging note. {again, thank you Nellie ...}.

Anyway. I just wanted to give an update with where I'm at. I do have some worry in the back of my head. But in the forefront, I have God {and friends}, telling me He has me in his hands.

I will live for today, and not worry about tomorrow. For I know who holds my tomorrows.

{words to live by} love this ...

2009-01-09T10:54:00.002-06:00

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things."
{Philippians 4:8 NIV}

awesome mom move ...

2009-01-08T19:55:00.003-06:00

With all the eye drama, I'm way behind on posting this, but it was just too good not to share ...

I don't know if this photo will quite do it justice ... but here goes. I took the girls baths the day we left for vacation, which was Friday.

I must tell you I am a stickler for baths. Every other night, pretty much like clock-work. Curt thinks I'm nuts. Is that too often? How often do you take your kids baths?

See, the thing is ... I have this habit of not combing their hair. Our favorite thing is 'messy pony tails' ... which basically means they aren't tortured by my apparently neglectful hands when it comes to brushing. And I in turn, am not tortured by the screams of children with much too sensitive little scalps!

Are you reading that as, we really are one huge mad house in the morning and therefore just don't have time to have pretty hairstyles when we leave the house?

Anyway, so I'm a stickler for baths, but basically because we have rats nests on our children's head!

Okay so ... I really have been rambling lately, haven't I? Back to baths on the day we left for vaca.

I went against my rule and took the girls only one other bath during vacation. Hunter had a fit and absolutely did not want to bathe with the girls. I succumbed and back to Max & Ruby for her, while Piper and Wynter had fun in the shower.

Yeah, that was the only time I ended up showering them, which meant Hunter never got a bath while on vacation. We got home Friday {a week later} and I took them baths before bed.

While shampooing Hunter's hair, I found the above {refer to photo} tangled up in her mess of a messy pony tail. YIKES, right?

And to really nominate myself for mom-of-the-year award ... imagine my surprise when I unpacked the girls when we got to Mexico and realized I had packed the baby {that'd be Hunter for those of you who are wondering 'what baby?'} only two shirts. Two! For a week's vacation. And I also forgot to pack diaper wipes.

Sigh ...

spiritual children

2009-01-08T06:45:00.003-06:00

I have been struggling for some time now and pray frequently, that I be a beacon, a spiritual leader to our children.

I missed the boat on this one with Taylor, Piper, and even Wynter when they were small. And it. is. hard. to try to make up for it. Especially when they turn into Miss Teenagers.

I love that I pray over Hunter every night in her crib. When I hear her little 'amen' ... it melts my heart and I know God is pleased.

My question was ... "How do you get spiritual children?" "How do you bring that down to a home level?" Sure, we can pray before bed and even pray before meals, or read and watch Christian books and movies. But how do I know they are 'getting it?'

My answer came yesterday morning in the car. The girls were singing "You're a grand ol' flag, you're a high flyin' flag ..." {I have got to get video of this for you!} And Wynter says, "Why do they talk about God in that song?"

I was driving {one-eyed}, and distracted in my thoughts as I usually am when I'm driving, so started mumbling some lame answer about how our nation was founded under God's care. She looked thoroughly confused, so I went on to mumble even more about how our coins say 'In God we Trust.'

I looked back and saw her head tilted with curiosity. And it hit me ... this is an opportunity.

So I tried my best to get out my intelligent hat {it comes out on occasion}, and go deep with my answer ... you know, five year old deep.

I did my best to recite the Pledge of Allegiance part in reference to God. It's been years ... you try to pull that one out of your bootie!

I explained that there was a time when our country relied on God for all we did, and all he provided to us. God was an important part of everyone's daily lives.

Here's the 'ah-ha' part for me ... grrr, I'm not remembering it exactly. But she pulls out the story from the bible {well, pulls it outta her bootie}, where God sent the angel down to talk to Mary to tell her she would have a baby. "Is it like that mom? Did he used to send his angels down?"

We talked more and it was a good conversation. And as I was going to bed last night, I realized, those are the learning moments. It's not a great discussion or teaching from above ...

It's taking them to church. It's praying with them. It's talking about God and our beliefs in everyday discussions. Songs. Praise.

Now my goal is, for them to see me reading the Bible, instead of typing on this darn machine! Whadda think the odds of that happening are? :)

Stay tuned ...

tweet, tweet

2009-01-08T05:48:00.000-06:00

Yeah ... I'm twittering. I truly don't need one more thing to get addicted to ... but this is truly quite fun! I like it even more than Facebook.

I think you should all join. I love that I can just 'tweet' from my iphone when I'm on the go. My username is tmstier. Or you can just keep an eye on the posts in the column to the right ...

Join, join, join, join!!!

flowers

2009-01-07T17:54:00.004-06:00

Here is the photo that goes with this post. Thank you so much Amy and Brigitte! And thank you Heather, and Trish, and mom, and Marta, and everyone!!!

Update: I don't want to speak too soon, but I think my pain may be diminishing!! Granted, I'm on pain pills. But the pain was still there {although minimum}, and now it's almost down to no pain!!

bible study {update}

2009-01-07T15:55:00.002-06:00

Oh! And to my bible study ladies ... thank you for understanding the switcharoo on dates ... we've rescheduled to next Wednesday, January 14.

I promise I'm fine ... I didn't mean to worry any of you. There were quite a few people that couldn't make it and a couple sicklies that weren't sure they could come tonight.

Given that I can't read very well and am a tad drugged-up ... I thought best to reschedule.

It is truly going to be an awesome study and I'm so looking forward to it! Don't forget to do your homework ...

loved + blessed = peace

2009-01-07T15:23:00.004-06:00

Could I feel any more loved than I do right now? Thank you SO much for all the calls, emails, support, prayers and concern!

My sister called earlier and I answered, "Grand Central Station, how can I help you?" Okay, that's lame ... but Brigitte had just left after dropping by the sweetest, little, candy flower arrangement! While she was here, I got a flower delivery and a phone call from the doctor's office.

My sister was so sweet to want to help me with the girls tonight, or whatever I needed, but I assured her I'm good and I'll let her know if I need something. Thank you Buggie!

My cell phone, home phone and email have been going at 100mph ... I promise I'm not complaining! I'm basking in the love. Thank you, thank you!

Here's a couple photos, one of the edible arrangement Brigitte made and the other is a flower arrangement from Amy ... my fav's ... freesia! Thank you both!

And I didn't realize, but my eye-sight is playing havoc with my photo taking abilities, as I look through the lens with my left eye. I managed okay and took these, but it didn't come very naturally to work with my right eye.

I just got another beautiful flower arrangement from Heather, but I've put my camera away. Thank you Heather ... I love them!!

And for a little update ... the IV treatment went well this morning. Sort of bittersweet being there, as it reminded me of all the times I'd gone with Marta {to a different clinic though}. Being hooked up to the IV, having it beep, needing them to come change the bag, etc. Guess God was preparing me even then.

So that went well. But I was in too much pain to go to work and wouldn't have been able to go all day without pain meds, so came home. It's a good thing I did, as it's been a tad crazy. {in a good way!}

The pain meds continue to help. My vision is down to about 10ish percent {at least that's what it feels like ... I'll have a real test next week}, so I still can't see very well.

I have a new ophthalmologist who specializes in optic neuritis. He and Dr. Purath know each other and I feel completely at ease that I am in good hands here on earth {heehee, couldn't resist!}.

I'll see him next week Tuesday for a slew of tests. I'll also be staying on an oral steroid for 2 weeks following the IV treatments. And then I'll see Dr. Purath on Thursday.

I'm feeling weird with the steroid {think 5 espresso shots straight into your veins} and pain pill combo. The doc said to be prepared, and I quote, for "extreme hunger and also warn your husband of some crabbiness." Hmmm ....

And um yeah ... about those photos I mentioned? Blogger is having some issues posting images, so I'll post them later. The kids are scheduled home any moment and I don't wanna be stressin' about adding photos to a post. Feel me? :)

me ra koh workshop {update}

2009-01-07T06:22:00.002-06:00

Thought I'd post something on the light side ... I'm sure missing those posts, so you must be too! :)

I was super happy to find this post last night from Me Ra. She gave me great props about half way down the page ... what perfect timing!

eye-eye update {two}

2009-01-06T13:42:00.010-06:00

Whew! What a day and it's not even 2:00 o'clock!

Had my MRI early this morning ... thank you to everyone who offered to drive me or help with the girls ... how sweet could you all be? I am blessed.

It took longer than I thought, but I was home by 9:00 to get Hunter ... pick up my mom ... and head to Mayfair for some retail therapy. We had a good morning, but between my mom's fractured wrist and my gimpy eye, we were quite the sight!

Okay, on to the update ... first I wanted to give a little background ... this whole thing started Wednesday as a weirdish, smallish eye pain. By Thursday got worse, so I emailed the doctor who's been helping me with my migraines {most awesomest doctor in the world!}. She said it sounded weird enough to be seen right away. She was out of town though, so try to get in with an ophthalmologist or my regular doc as soon as I could.

Anyway ... I posted earlier about the rest of the story, only I left out how completely non-urgent the ophthalmologist was treating this. I didn't hear back Monday morning like I thought I would, so I called the nurse and got, "oh! I was just going to call you on this. I was able to schedule your MRI on Thursday." Oh no, no ... Thursday wouldn't do! I needed to be seen right away. The pain, the vision loss ... I can't wait til Thursday.

She said she'd check with the doctor and try again. It was frustrating to me that he wouldn't have put on the notes to schedule it in an urgent way. Anyway, she called back and got it scheduled for this morning.

In the meantime, my migraine doc {Dr. Traci Purath}, was emailing me asking how I was, what I've found out and when I'd be seeing the ophtho again. I told her when the MRI was scheduled and that he never scheduled a follow-up appointment, so I wasn't sure how I was going to get results, etc. She said she would call for the results and let me know right way.

So back to today's update. I had the MRI this morning and Traci emailed around noon with the results. I have an inflammation of the optic nerve {optic neuritis} and would need IV steroid treatments as soon as possible. She assured me there were no tumors, but there were some other things we'd need to discuss, and if I could come see her this afternoon.

We emailed a couple of times, when my mom, ever so smartly, suggested I give her my cell phone number. Duh!

So Traci called and we talked. Turns out in 20ish percent of patients, optic neuritis can mean the onset of MS. Scary? A little. Am I freaking out? Not really ... well, maybe a little.

The really great news is there were no lesions on the brain. If there were, the chances of developing MS jump to 56%. Here's a little tid-bit of information I found:

Not everyone who experiences Optic Neuritis Develops MS

Not everyone who has an episode of optic neuritis goes on to develop MS. Long-term follow-up from the Optic Neuritis Treatment Trial, which involved 388 people with a single episode of optic neuritis, yielded the following:

The ten-year risk of developing clinically definite MS following a single episode of optic neuritis was 38% for the entire study group; the twelve-year risk was 40%. Most of those who developed MS did so within the first five years after the initial episode of optic neuritis.
The strongest predictor of MS in the study group was the presence of brain lesions on MRI at the time of the episode of optic neuritis. Within the study group, patients with at least one brain lesion on MRI at the time of the optic neuritis episode had a 56% risk of developing MS within 10 years, while those with no brain lesions had only a 22% risk of developing MS within 10 years.

While other disease processes can cause optic neuritis, MS is the most likely cause in a young, otherwise healthy individual.

A little scary, right? The other news is that my vision may not return to 100%.

I have an appointment starting tomorrow and each day through Sunday to go in for IV steroids. It'll be a pretty high dose, but I should start seeing some relief {I'm so looking forward to that!}.

I am super blessed to have found Dr. Purath. She's been amazing and has gone above and beyond to help me out and assure me everything will be alright. She honestly sees no indication on my MRI of MS, she's assured me she's looked at it again and again. If she saw something, she promises she would've let me know.

I'm scheduling a follow-up appointment with a new ophthalmologist next week at the Eye Clinic at Froedert. And will see Dr. Purath next week also.

Here's the thing, even though in the back of my head, I have this little nagging fear. I will not let Satan take a hold of it. I know God will take care of me. And the thing is, by taking care of me ... I don't mean that I'll never get MS {even Dr. Purath said this could be a possibility}, because I could very well get it. But there's a very real possibility that I will never get it. What I do know ... is that God will take care of me no matter the circumstance. I trust he has it in His hands.

And ... it says that if it does occur, it could be within 10 years ... and I'm pretty certain I'll be in my heavenly home by then! :)

{note: it's literally taken me all day to write this post. i've been between emails & phone calls with the doctors. explaining things to curt. doing some work. answering phone calls and more emails. i am officially signing off!}

eye-eye update

2009-01-05T21:30:00.004-06:00

Thought I'd send an update on my eye ... I have an MRI scheduled for tomorrow morning at 7:15. If you read this post before then, or around then ... if you could lift me up in prayer, I'd sure love that!

Things haven't changed for the better. My vision has gotten worse. Pain level pretty much the same, but the awesome pain meds help with that.

I was at work all day, so not able to take any til I got home, and man I sure felt a difference when it kicked in!

I'll keep you posted and let you know what I find out.

Amy was sweet enough to send me these flowers and I thought I'd share them with y'all! Thanks again Amy!